This isn’t just a RAW review. This is also a RAW rant because of the poor quality of last night’s show. To be honest, I’ve been watching World Wrestling Entertainment since 2001 and I must say, this is the worst RAW I’ve ever watched. Sure, I may be coming off as irrational here but there’s no denying that this RAW absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, unquestionably, SUCKED.
The show unsurprisingly kicked off with a Triple H promo. I have no complaints here as Triple H had to address the live audience and the protest. It wasn’t surprising to see Triple H sticking to his guns and refusing to quite as John Cena sticking with the boss. Sheamus and CM Punk pledged their allegiance to Triple H while the COO got the program rolling with Cena vs. Sheamus with himself acting as the referee.
The most positive thing to come out of this was CM Punk’s commentary.
Before I could enjoy RAW, Mr. McMahon made his return and relieved Triple H of his duties. Yes, Triple H is still the COO but no longer controls RAW. Vince announced that Johnny Ace is the interim General Manager until they could find someone to fit the role.
When McMahon announced that Laurinaitis was the GM, I knew the program and overall quality of RAW was going to rapidly deteriorate.
Johnny Ace is the worst character ever. He is an absolute snore and causes spontaneous nausea whenever he’s on my television. Sure, he can randomly show up and make matches but so can Teddy Long who has a passion for this business and is actually entertaining.
Backstage, Johnny Ace is greeting talent backstage when John Morrison voices his disapproval of Funkman’s promotion to General Manager. JoMo tells Laurinaitis he sucks with Funkman informing Morrison that he has a match. After Morrison leaves, Christian begins kissing Ace’s ass by telling him he should be the permanent GM instead of interim.
Laurinaitis approves of Christian’s comments and informs him that he has a match with John Morrison.
The Christian/JoMo match lasted three minutes and it absolutely sucked. Considering the fact that JoMo and Christian are great workers, this match should’ve been given more time. It sickens me to see what they’ve done with Christian.
Remember when all of those retired WWE Superstars said Christian losing the title in two days was a part of a bigger storyline?
Yes, it was the storyline that saw Christian get buried by Randy Orton in every encounter.
Anyway, Morrison loses the match after Christian’s coalition distracts him long enough for Christian to spear Morrison. Morrison loses again, assuring every JoMoSapien out there that Morrison is leaving the WWE soon.
The Christian Coalition destroys Morrison, with each utilizing their finisher on the Prince of Parkour.
I’ve said it before, if you’re going to do to this guy, you might as well release him.
He’s just too talented for this crap.
Ace announces Henry vs. Orton when Triple H enters. A short segment with Triple H asking Ace is he ever picked up his teeth with broken fingers.
Mark Henry cuts the same promo he has since winning the championship. A prerecorded message from Orton plays claiming he will have vengeance against Henry.
Next up, we get Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry again. It was a solid match with Orton winning by disqualification after Cody Rhodes attacks him. Henry and Rhodes decimate Orton after the match with Cody bagging Orton at the conclusion. Rhodes vs. Orton would be a great feud if Orton is willing to put Rhodes over.
My problem is, why did Cody attempt the maniacal laugh?
It failed horribly.
Kelly Kelly and Eve beat Tamina and Rosa Mendes in a tag team matchup that Kelly spent the majority of screaming.
Laurinaitis announces John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio at Vengeance for the WWE Championship. I must say, why won’t the WWE take John Cena out of the WWE Title picture? Everything he has done from the moment they announced Cena/Rock to now has been filler and will continue to be until WrestleMania 28.
We just had this match at Night of Champions with Cena easily defeating Del Rio and stripping him of the little relevance he had.
If this wasn’t bad enough, Laurinaitis embarrasses Jim Ross by firing him in his hometown. I find this absolutely ridiculous but not surprising seeing as how the WWE loves to crap on their employees in front of their hometowns.
To be honest, I’d rather listen to a taped recording of Jim Ross than any of those guys on commentary.
RAW suddenly becomes green with Air Boom and Mason Ryan vs. Swiggler and David Otunga. To quote the internet champion, “are you serious bro?”
Mason Ryan pins Dolph Ziggler and is apparently taking the U.S. Title push most IWC members thought belonged to Ryder. The match itself was decent but the most noteworthy portion of it was Evan Bourne seemingly suffering an injury after Jack Swagger botched a power bomb.
There goes two pushes if Bourne suffered a significant injury here.
The WWE network and John Cena’s new movie is plugged.
To be honest, Cena’s movie is actually interesting.
Anyway, we get CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio for the third time on RAW. Typical Punk/Rio matchup Ace interrupting it and announcing the two would face the Awesome Truth.
Yeah, that’s surprising.
It was some decent back and forth actions with Del Rio unsurprisingly abandoning Punk.
Punk’s on the verge of victory until Awesome Truth get themselves disqualified and continue the attack on Punk after the match is over.
Before the duo could cause any significant damage, Triple H runs in and destroys Miz while Punk works over Truth. The two shake hands at the conclusion of RAW with Johnny Ace discussing Triple H and CM Punk vs. Awesome Truth with David Otunga.
I have never watched a RAW episode as horrible as the one that aired last night. I don’t understand why the WWE sees fit to ruin every interesting storyline they produce. They should’ve continued this “walkout” angle to Survivor Series at the very least. Aside from the first 25 minutes, everything was predictable and quite frankly, boring.
John Laurinaitis assuming the role as Interim GM is absolutely ridiculous. This guy is the worst mic worker I’ve ever watched in my entire life and has no personality whatsoever. He’s the most boring piece of crap to ever bless my television screen since Alberto Del Rio.
I find salvation in the fact that Ace is the interim General Manager and could very well lose the role in no time.
On the other hand, you have a plethora of main event worthy talent complaining about things they partake in on a weekly basis. Didn’t Christian’s coalition walkout because they felt unsafe? They felt that Awesome Truth was capable of attacking them at will.
Thing is, it makes WWE Creative look like morons and the superstars look like hypocrites.
I find it strange that a ton of SmackDown guys were complaining about their treatment on RAW.
Why is John Cena in another title match?
Why are CM Punk and Triple H teaming at Vengeance when they were at teach others throats a few weeks ago?
What happened to the anonymous RAW GM?
Why in the blue hell is Mason Ryan getting a U.S. Title shot instead of Zack Ryder? Obviously, its Vinnie Mac’s bodybuilder fetish making its presence felt again.
In the end, this RAW was bad. It was atrocious and I have a few final thoughts.
For one, I think Laurinaitis is the best thing to happen to RAW; Alberto Del Rio is the most charismatic WWE Champion of all time, I don’t think Vince McMahon has lost his mind, I totally see the appeal of Brodus Clay, Kelly Kelly and the Bella’s really are the best WWE Divas of all time, I think Justin Watry is the best writer on Bleacher Report, and I don’t think I’m the most realistic thing that has ever happened to Twitter, the YWC, the IWC, and especially the Bleacher Report Professional Wrestling Community.