Hello Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review and I must say, I enjoyed tonights RAW as the last two were absolutely nauseating. Initially, I expected a poor show considering WWE’s track record of dropping the ball when it comes to the RAW that follows a pay per view. Nonetheless, RAW was definitely pre planned and it was obvious considering the overall quality of the show.
Unsurprisingly, Triple H opens the show and apparently, he’s here to discuss Kevin Nash and his shocking attack last night (that was sarcasm). He discusses having his heart broken and subliminally mentions the Kliq while shockingly leaving out Scott Hall. I wonder why he didn’t mention Kevin Nash almost breaking his collarbone with that botched Jackknife last night.
Triple H’s tirade continues with him wanting to kick Nash’s ass until Laurinaitis interrupts. Why hasn’t this guy bought himself some cough drops or layoff the cigarettes already? It’s obviously destroying his voice.
Triple H threatens Ace and wants him to retire Nash or else. Hunter tries to leave but Nash shockingly (sarcasm) attacks Trips with a sledgehammer. Wow! A Triple H segment that didn’t last longer than 20 minutes!
Apparently, a sledgehammer shot to the back cause’s seizures. As Triple H is being carted onto an ambulance, Kevin Cash returns and administers a sledgehammer shot the face of a unconscious Triple H. It’s funny that Triple H was basically kissing the ground considering he has made a career out of doing it to others.
After a string or replays, the first match commences in Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes and Christian. I’m going to pretend like Rhodes/Christian ever had a chance in this matchup but it was still solid nonetheless. I admire Sheamus for improvising the finish as it was apparent that he was supposed to connect with the Brogue Kick but a botch saw Sheamus utilize the Celtic cross instead.
Honestly, I’m surprised Rhodes was the one that got pinned. Considering Vince’s indifference towards Christian and his track record as of late, you’d think Christian would be the one to fall victim to Sheamus again.
Afterwards, Laurinaitis is apparently arguing with Stephanie McMahon over the events that transpired earlier in the evening. Otunga still can’t seem to get over his obsession of shopping at Sears and sipping on imitation coffee. Cena storms in and is actually very entertaining here.
I love the fact that he mentioned Ace’s skateboard days.
Unsurprisingly, Cena wants Awesome Truth and Laurinaitis will choose his partner.
After a commercial break, Santino is in the ring for a squash but I was utterly surprised when Ziggler’s theme music hit. The match was better than I expected but I find it strange that Ziggler needed an assist from Swagger to beat a comedic jobber like Santino Marella. ZigSwag attacks Marella after the matchup until Mason “Batista” Ryan makes the save. Are you guys surprised? I told you, Vince McMahon’s bodybuilder fetish always prevails over pushing someone who is bringing in money like Zack Ryder.
The Bella’s and Zack Ryder are backstage as Ryder announces he’s Cena’s partner against Awesome Truth in the main event? Zack Ryder is in the RAW main event? You can’t be serious bro!
Alberto Del Rio is out next for his victory speech after his win over Cena at Vengeance. Unsurprisingly, the crowd doesn’t care about Alberto. Del Rio cuts his normal promo, proclaiming that he’s the best and unbeatable. You know you can’t call yourself the best without CM Punk taking exception to it.
The Voice of the Voiceless reminds Alberto that he has beaten him on a number of occasions while he has yet to receive his one on one rematch for the WWE Championship. Punk requests a rematch and Del Rio unsurprisingly turns the offer down. However, Punk threatens to put Rio to sleep with brings about the addition of Johnny Ace.
Laurinaitis proposes Punk/Del Rio for Survivor Series only if Punk says that he respects him. Punk cracks a number of jokes before Laurinaitis offers Punk one more chance. Punk unleashes his serious side and states that Funkman has done so little and gained so much. Laurinaitis doesn’t think Punk’s words are good enough and states that he’ll take another week to contemplate granting Punk a shot.
Punk attacks Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez attempting to make the save. Punk drops Ricardo with a GTS as stares a departing Alberto Del Rio.
Anyway, we have Natalya vs. Alicia Fox with the most noteworthy portion of this entire segment being the awful new theme of Alicia Fox. It’s almost as bad as that new theme Eve debuted at Vengeance. To be honest, I looked away for a few seconds and it was over. Fortunately for me, I caught the replay and I was surprised to see Alicia picking up the win after a rollup.
I’m actually surprised to see Morrison come out as he mentioned his Out of Your Mind fitness DVD on Twitter earlier today. Nonetheless, it’s always delightful to see the Prince of Parkour in action but I was shocked when his opponent was revealed. Wade Barrett is apparently being pushed again and Morrison is going to be his next victim (after Daniel Bryan of course).
The match started off pretty good with some nice back and forth action that spilled to the arena floor. Barrett throws Morrison into the fan barrier as we cut to a commercial break.
Honestly, it’s shocking that a Morrison match made it to a commercial break.
After the commercial break, the two had a pretty good matchup with Morrison finally looking decent after the series of squashes he has been victim of. However, Barrett picks up the win with the Wasteland. Barrett botched his first attempt by not being able to catch Morrison.
It was difficult to improvise as fans already caught on to the slip.
Cole and Lawler are discussing what happened to Triple H until Cole spontaneously discusses/bashes Jim Ross in front of the live audience. Cole shows a number of photo shopped pictures of Jim Ross before his issues a challenge to the Hall of Famer. Cole states that if JR beat him on next week’s RAW, he would quit his announcing position and JR can have his place back.
Zack Ryder is discussing the RAW main event with Josh Matthews before Awesome Truth attacks him. You didn’t think Vince McMahon would allow Ryder to main event RAW did you? After the attack, Awesome Truth cuts a promo stating that no one is safe as they mock Triple H’s misfortune and inform Cena that he can’t rise above them.
Laurinaitis announces a handicap match as Ryder is unable to compete. This was a typical Cena match except for Awesome Truth displaying their cleverness by continually tagging out. As Cena was closing in on a victory, R-Truth reintroduces his water bottle to Cena’s cranium which gives Cena a win by DQ.
Awesome Truth continues the attack on Cena before Laurinaitis has it broken up by security. The Executive VP of talent relations announces a tag team match for Survivor Series that will feature Awesome Truth taking on Cena and a partner of his choice. Cena unsurprisingly chooses Rock as his partner.
This was a pretty good RAW but I felt the Triple H/Nash fiasco should’ve been cut short and we didn’t need a million replays over the course of the episode. I’m questioning WWE’s decision to keep Air Boom off of television for two weeks in a row. I also find it strange that Ziggler took on Marella and the fact that he needed an assist by Swagger to defeat him.
What quality does Mason Ryan possess (besides looking like Batista) that makes him a worthy contender for the U.S. Championship.
Yes, I know I answered my own question there.
Why Kevin Nash still on my television screen? He sucks and doesn’t give a crap about anything but the numbers on his next paycheck. Why has Natalya become the Christian of the Divas Division as she is basically the Diva to put over the ones on their way up?
Will Sheamus and Orton ever lose a match cleanly again?
Why is the Cena hater at almost every WWE event?
Will John Morrison ever win another WWE match?
Haven’t we had enough of Michael Cole’s shenanigans? However, if it means I only have to listen to his nauseating commentary on SmackDown, I’m all for this matchup.
Will Vince McMahon get Mason Ryan’s underwear out of his teeth long enough to take Ryder seriously?
How long will Triple H be out of action?
Why did the WWE test our intelligence tonight? They announced that Rock and Cena would be teaming up at Survivor Series a few weeks ago. It’s not like we’ll forget something as big as that.
And apparently, RAW is still all about The Game.