WWE: A Week in Review

Hello Revolutionaries.

For some time now, I’ve been trying to find a way where I could discuss and give my expert opinion on RAW/SD Results and wrestling news in one well thought out, entertaining, and insightful article. Because of time constraints, I’ve always been opposed to the idea but I’ve recently warmed up to the idea. Considering the level of mediocrity when it comes to this week’s programming, I felt this was a great opportunity to set this idea a blaze with its first edition.

First of all, here are some general (and brief) thoughts on Monday Night RAW.

RAW: I wasn’t surprised by the reception/delivery of this week’s RAW as the show was taped and the WWE has a tendency of producing lackluster shows in the UK. Anyway, John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler put on the match of the night. Live reports say this match was well received and most UK fans were generally into this match. Thing is, this didn’t translate too well on television as the crowd was clearly dead/silent.

The eye opener was Morrison winning the matchup. It changed my handling of Morrison’s contract situation as I thought he was leaving the company. Apparently, the saga continues and I’ll get to that momentarily.

Ziggler looked great as usual and I’m assuming the WWE is building towards a Ryder vs. JoMo vs. Ziggler in a U.S. title match at Survivor Series.

Kofi Kingston being squashed by Del Rio is obviously a result of Evan Bourne’s wellness violation. I’m against the guilty by association mindset the WWE is using when handling this. On the other hand, having Del Rio squash random mid carders isn’t helping his character. The WWE needs to realize that fans just don’t care about Berto.

It’s sad but it’s the truth.

Punk absolutely destroyed Del Rio on the microphone. Some blame Del Rio’s accent but I beg to differ.

Kevin Nash’s promo absolutely sucked and he was discombobulated for the majority of it.

Brodus Clay’s debut being pushed back to next week doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not hopping on the Clay bandwagon as he has yet to impress me (but I am hopping on the Ziggler bandwagon).

The Kelly/DOD segment wasn’t relevant at all and I could’ve done without it.

The main event was a typical tag team match with a pretty lackluster finish to be honest.

SmackDown: SmackDown once again topped RAW as the better show watch/digest. Orton should eliminate the predictable comebacks on his promos. Christian was entertaining as usual but I still feel he should’ve been the one to remain face while Orton turned heel.

Sheamus and Christian put on another watchable match with Sheamus triumphing over Christian with the Celtic cross. Personally, I understand the WWE’s thought process and the fact that they’re trying to establish Sheamus as the guy on SmackDown. However, Christian could’ve used this win. Logically, the heel would pin the face at least one to establish some credibility for the heel and the face when he finally defeats him. Sheamus destroying Christian in every encounter is destroying Christian’s credibility/relevance while providing predictable and repetitive programming to fans.

Having Mark Henry put Daniel Bryan over as gutsy displays a little intelligence on the WWE’s part but it doesn’t last.

Random Ezekiel Jackson promo that is totally irrelevant as Cody squashed him week in and week out.

Originally, I perceived this Teddy Long/Aksana flirtation as her plotting to rid Long of his position as SmackDown General Manager. However, the WWE has displayed a profound amount of ignorance and confusion with these segments. The inclusion of Alicia Fox only furthers along the confusion and randomness of these segments.

Ted Dibiase squashed Jinder Mahal.

I guess it’s somewhat intelligent that the WWE allowed Daniel Bryan to administer a little offense to the World’s Champion. However, Henry destroyed Bryan in less than three minutes and I’m still trying to figure out what the WWE is doing with Daniel Bryan. To those optimistic smarks that feel this is anything but the WWE using Bryan to progress the Show/Henry program, I say open your eyes.

Big Show randomly squashed three local jobbers. I guess this was supposed to impress Mark Henry?

Tamina vs. Alicia Fox was a passable Divas match. I must say, Alicia is a victim of the Anderson effect (random face/heel turn at any moment). Alicia won while Natalya randomly bashed her on commentary.

Oh my God, Mexican America has joined World Wrestling Entertainment. Seriously, I like the trio of Hunico, Epico, and Primo and it was obvious that these guys had chemistry. The Usos were great as usual and I like the trio of finishers Jey received after the match was over.

Randy Orton and Wade Barrett was an okay matchup. The fact that Wade Barrett won displays the fact that the WWE is trying to get the wheels rolling on Barrett and this push. This also gives Team Barrett a little credibility going into Survivor Series as most would expect a squash matchup (I still do).

NEWS!!!

John Morrison removed from tour dates: I’m pretty sure everyone has read about this considering every prominent dirt sheet has published four articles on it each day. Honestly, I have yet to figure this situation out as everything kayfabe wise suggests that Morrison has/will resign. I apologize for being a skeptic but there’s something about this situation that isn’t clicking with me. Dave Meltzer reporting that friends felt Morrison was going to TNA is ridiculous. John Morrison resides in Los Angeles, California.

Impact Wrestling is taped in Tampa, Florida.

Morrison would be traveling to the other side of the country to wrestle. I find that a far-fetched but I wouldn’t be surprised if he does leave the WWE in the imminent future but all signs point to a agreement.

Sheamus wants Undertaker at WrestleMania 28: This doesn’t surprise me at all. Originally, I picked Undertaker to face Sheamus, Wade Barrett, or Randy Orton in his final. It’s a strong possibility that it’ll be one of those names. Like I stated above, Sheamus is going to be one of the WWE’s biggest stars. The Undertaker rub at WrestleMania is unmatched and Sheamus’ career would benefit from it.

Cody Rhodes gimmick change: Initially, I read about this a few weeks ago. Nothing came to fruition and I quietly ignored the report. However, Cody began removing his mask and wrestling house shows without it so I considered it possible. That’s when Downstait stated that they were recording a new theme for Rhodes and I’ve been waiting for the change ever since.

I wonder what it’ll be. A nefarious gimmick similar to that of Chris Jericho would be refreshing.

John Laurinaitis Future Endeavors shirt released: Why? This is seriously a comedic tactic so the WWE can sell some extra t-shirts. Unfortunately, fans will think it’s humorous and purchase one.

Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal on Superstars: SmackDown worthy match that should’ve replaced Christian and Sheamus. Most of the live reports say Bryan pissed himself. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this matchup.

Christian injured: This is definitely a horrible time for Christian to suffer an injury. It is believed that he either sprained or broke his ankle. If it’s broken, Christian will need a replacement for Survivor Series as he is a prominent figure on Team Barrett. Christian is the all around best superstar on SmackDown so it would difficult to replace him but logic says add someone like Brodus Clay in his place.

Well that’s all for today folks. Be sure to like this page, subscribe to my blog, and read all my other post. Like EGW on Facebook, follow EGW on Twitter, vote in the EvE series.

And take care; most of you don’t have hair.

Woo Woo Woo, I’ll own you.

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WWE: How I would book Daniel Bryan, John Morrison, and Christian’s 2011 Singles Run

Hello Revolutionaries, I apologize for my unnoticeable absence as I felt it was best that I take a week off from writing to gather ideas and prepare future projects. However, I’m back and I felt that it was best for me to address a recurring trend on current WWE programming. You see, I have a problem with the WWE’s booking direction of three of its most prominent Superstars.

Obviously, I am referring to Daniel Bryan, Christian, and John Morrison.

Unless you’ve decided to strap your viewership of the WWE, avoid social networks like twitter, and ignore your colleagues that are wrestling fans, you’d know that these three WWE Superstars have been reduced to losing a number of matches. While Morrison is in his current position because of obvious reasons, there isn’t a particular explanation for the burials of the American Dragon and Captain Charisma.

With this being said, I feel as if programming (particularly the mid card) would be better in general if the WWE would use these superstars to their potential.

Because of this, I’ve prepared booking plans for each superstar. Simply put, I’m going to dabble in fantasy booking and give readers an idea of how I would’ve booked each superstar going forward.

I’m going to start after WWE Money in the Bank (SummerSlam buildup) and stop at Hell in a Cell. This article will start the series and give readers an idea at what I’m trying to do.

SummerSlam Build/Event

Daniel Bryan: The American Dragon has just won the SmackDown MITB briefcase much to the shock of the IWC/WWE Universe. This is where the WWE should start building towards WrestleMania. Yes, I will retain Bryan’s WrestleMania cash in aspirations. Honestly, I enjoyed the mini feud between Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett. There wasn’t anything I’d change about the build but I would add a match with Christian and the SummerSlam finish would be slightly altered.

Instead of having Wade Barrett go over clean, I would’ve introduced the briefcase into the occasion. I would introduce the typical inadvertent referee bump with Barrett realizing he has a golden opportunity to defeat Bryan with the briefcase. As Barrett swings the briefcase at Bryan, the Dragon would’ve countered it into the Lebell Lock. Bryan would force Barrett to submit but to no avail because of the ref bump.

As Bryan attempts to awake the referee, Barrett would blind side Bryan with the briefcase before using Wasteland for the win. I want to establish Barrett as a threat but allow him to retain his character through the dirty win.

I want to have the heel win the first match here so I can spark a program that’ll run for months and reinvest some interest in both Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett. The MITB briefcase will become a factor at some point but I think you’ll enjoy my continuity of this angle in the next edition.

John Morrison: JoMo returned on the July 25th edition of RAW with an attack on R-Truth. Thing is, for someone who injured your neck (twice) and cost you months off your career, the attack was lackluster. Morrison would still attack Truth but it would get to a point where security would have to intervene for the safety of Truth. Simply put, I would have JoMo introduce a chair while placing Truths head in it.

It would be like the “eye for an eye” saying.

This is where the security comes in and separates Morrison from Truth. To sell the attack, Truth would use a frightened facial expression while JoMo is pulled away. To progress the feud, I would give Morrison some promo time. For this to work, Morrison has to display emotion. JoMo has to display that anger and hatred for R-Truth to a point where fans can feel it.

Morrison would invite Truth to the ring to exact revenge. In typical heel fashion, Morrison’s pleas would go unanswered with Morrison deciding to pursue Truth backstage. Once Morrison gets to the backstage area, I would have Truth attack him from behind. The two would brawl once again with security separating the two before any significant damage to either superstar could occur.

On the following RAW, I would book a tag match with JoMo and Alex Riley vs. Dolph Ziggler and R-Truth. I would have A Ry pin Dolph as Truth and Morrison are on the outside. As Riley celebrates, I’d have Truth blast Riley with his infamous water bottle while Morrison and Truth begin to brawl again. Once again, security would intervene but this time I would introduce Triple H.

Hunter would state his frustration with Truth/Morrison and their constant brawling. He’s going to give both what they want and that’s a singles match at SummerSlam.

At SummerSlam, I would have Morrison seconds away from winning the match with his RKS (Running Knee Strike) only for Truth to avoid it and exit the ring. Morrison would pursue Truth only to be struck with Truth’s water bottle, causing a disqualification win for Morrison. Truth continues to attack JoMo on the outside while Morrison fights back.

The brawl makes it way to the stage where Morrison throws Truth onto the pavement. As Truth is seemingly unconscious, I would have Morrison utilize one of his parkour spots to cause significant damage to Truth. It would have to be something that would absolutely shock the crowd while leaving both incapacitated.

To sell the spot, I would have Truth wheeled out on a stretcher while Morrison refuses and tries to leave the arena on his own.

The reason for this is to establish some toughness/street cred Morrison’s current character is lacking. By having him perform a “dangerous spot” and being able to leave the arena under his own weight would hopefully establish Morrison as tough for the audience kind of like Owen Hart breaking Stone Cold Steve Austin’s neck.

Christian: Captain Charisma is the World Heavyweight Champion after winning the title via disqualification at WWE Money in the Bank. Since the WWE has already established Orton’s anger issues, I would continue that angle with the Viper trying to get his hands on Christian.

Orton would receive his mandatory rematch but the type of match would be decided by Christian/Orton. To make things interesting, I would have both take on face/heels in matches where the superstar who could defeat the opponent faster would win. I want to retain the interest of fans by having Orton/Christian chose the others opponents pick your poison style. Christian would Mark Henry while Randy would choose Sheamus. In the Christian/Sheamus matchup, Sheamus would win by count out as Captain Charisma would walk out. On the other hand, Orton would be moments away from victory with Christian attempting to interfere.

Christian would inadvertently spear Orton after Henry dodges him. The World’s Strongest Man would then crush Christian with the WSS while Orton is stirring on the outside. Orton would announce a No Holds Barred match for SummerSlam while Christian instantly shows sign fear and distraught.

I would then book Christian vs. Sheamus with Orton and Barrett on commentary. I would create conflict at ringside with Christian throwing Daniel Bryan into Orton. Randy would attack Christian which would lead to Christian gaining the DQ victory with Barrett attacking Orton before he can cause any significant damage to Christian.

As Christian slithers out of harm’s way, Orton would RKO Barrett while destroying the equipment at ringside.

On the final SmackDown before SummerSlam, I would book Christian and Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson and Randy Orton. After disposing of Rhodes, Christian would defeat Orton with the Killswitch. As Christian flees with the World Championship, a seething Orton would RKO Rhodes through the announce table.

While Orton decimates Cody, Christian announces a surprise for SummerSlam and assures fans that they don’t want to miss this.

I would book this to give the match a little unpredictability with Christian proving that he can beat Orton.

At SummerSlam, I would keep the Edge/Christian segment intact with Edge walking out on Christian. Towards the end of the matchup, Edge runs down to assist Orton by momentarily distracting Christian. Orton charges at Christian but Captain Charisma avoids contact.

Orton almost strikes Edge but stops only for Christian to roll up Orton with a handful of tights. Christian smirks at Edge while grasping the World Championship.

The reason I went with this strategy is to book a triple threat match at Night of Champions. This will keep SD with compelling programming for a few months and would buy the Creative team more time to create plans for WrestleMania.

You’ll have check out the next installments in this unique series to find out how I would book JoMo, Christian, and Daniel Bryan for NOC and its build that’ll eventually lead towards Hell in a Cell. Who knows, I may push this series to the Royal Rumble or WrestleMania 28 if I come up with some compelling programs.

WWE RAW Review 10/24/11: An Electrifying Show

Hello Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review and I must say, I enjoyed tonights RAW as the last two were absolutely nauseating. Initially, I expected a poor show considering WWE’s track record of dropping the ball when it comes to the RAW that follows a pay per view. Nonetheless, RAW was definitely pre planned and it was obvious considering the overall quality of the show.

Unsurprisingly, Triple H opens the show and apparently, he’s here to discuss Kevin Nash and his shocking attack last night (that was sarcasm). He discusses having his heart broken and subliminally mentions the Kliq while shockingly leaving out Scott Hall. I wonder why he didn’t mention Kevin Nash almost breaking his collarbone with that botched Jackknife last night.

Triple H’s tirade continues with him wanting to kick Nash’s ass until Laurinaitis interrupts. Why hasn’t this guy bought himself some cough drops or layoff the cigarettes already? It’s obviously destroying his voice.

Triple H threatens Ace and wants him to retire Nash or else. Hunter tries to leave but Nash shockingly (sarcasm) attacks Trips with a sledgehammer. Wow! A Triple H segment that didn’t last longer than 20 minutes!

Not

Apparently, a sledgehammer shot to the back cause’s seizures. As Triple H is being carted onto an ambulance, Kevin Cash returns and administers a sledgehammer shot the face of a unconscious Triple H. It’s funny that Triple H was basically kissing the ground considering he has made a career out of doing it to others.

Burial

After a string or replays, the first match commences in Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes and Christian. I’m going to pretend like Rhodes/Christian ever had a chance in this matchup but it was still solid nonetheless. I admire Sheamus for improvising the finish as it was apparent that he was supposed to connect with the Brogue Kick but a botch saw Sheamus utilize the Celtic cross instead.

Honestly, I’m surprised Rhodes was the one that got pinned. Considering Vince’s indifference towards Christian and his track record as of late, you’d think Christian would be the one to fall victim to Sheamus again.

Afterwards, Laurinaitis is apparently arguing with Stephanie McMahon over the events that transpired earlier in the evening. Otunga still can’t seem to get over his obsession of shopping at Sears and sipping on imitation coffee. Cena storms in and is actually very entertaining here.

I love the fact that he mentioned Ace’s skateboard days.

Unsurprisingly, Cena wants Awesome Truth and Laurinaitis will choose his partner.

After a commercial break, Santino is in the ring for a squash but I was utterly surprised when Ziggler’s theme music hit. The match was better than I expected but I find it strange that Ziggler needed an assist from Swagger to beat a comedic jobber like Santino Marella.  ZigSwag attacks Marella after the matchup until Mason “Batista” Ryan makes the save. Are you guys surprised? I told you, Vince McMahon’s bodybuilder fetish always prevails over pushing someone who is bringing in money like Zack Ryder.

The Bella’s and Zack Ryder are backstage as Ryder announces he’s Cena’s partner against Awesome Truth in the main event? Zack Ryder is in the RAW main event? You can’t be serious bro!

Alberto Del Rio is out next for his victory speech after his win over Cena at Vengeance. Unsurprisingly, the crowd doesn’t care about Alberto. Del Rio cuts his normal promo, proclaiming that he’s the best and unbeatable. You know you can’t call yourself the best without CM Punk taking exception to it.

The Voice of the Voiceless reminds Alberto that he has beaten him on a number of occasions while he has yet to receive his one on one rematch for the WWE Championship. Punk requests a rematch and Del Rio unsurprisingly turns the offer down. However, Punk threatens to put Rio to sleep with brings about the addition of Johnny Ace.

Laurinaitis proposes Punk/Del Rio for Survivor Series only if Punk says that he respects him. Punk cracks a number of jokes before Laurinaitis offers Punk one more chance. Punk unleashes his serious side and states that Funkman has done so little and gained so much. Laurinaitis doesn’t think Punk’s words are good enough and states that he’ll take another week to contemplate granting Punk a shot.

Punk attacks Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez attempting to make the save. Punk drops Ricardo with a GTS as stares a departing Alberto Del Rio.

Anyway, we have Natalya vs. Alicia Fox with the most noteworthy portion of this entire segment being the awful new theme of Alicia Fox. It’s almost as bad as that new theme Eve debuted at Vengeance. To be honest, I looked away for a few seconds and it was over. Fortunately for me, I caught the replay and I was surprised to see Alicia picking up the win after a rollup.

Whatevs

I’m actually surprised to see Morrison come out as he mentioned his Out of Your Mind fitness DVD on Twitter earlier today. Nonetheless, it’s always delightful to see the Prince of Parkour in action but I was shocked when his opponent was revealed. Wade Barrett is apparently being pushed again and Morrison is going to be his next victim (after Daniel Bryan of course).

The match started off pretty good with some nice back and forth action that spilled to the arena floor. Barrett throws Morrison into the fan barrier as we cut to a commercial break.

Honestly, it’s shocking that a Morrison match made it to a commercial break.

After the commercial break, the two had a pretty good matchup with Morrison finally looking decent after the series of squashes he has been victim of. However, Barrett picks up the win with the Wasteland. Barrett botched his first attempt by not being able to catch Morrison.

It was difficult to improvise as fans already caught on to the slip.

Cole and Lawler are discussing what happened to Triple H until Cole spontaneously discusses/bashes Jim Ross in front of the live audience. Cole shows a number of photo shopped pictures of Jim Ross before his issues a challenge to the Hall of Famer. Cole states that if JR beat him on next week’s RAW, he would quit his announcing position and JR can have his place back.

Zack Ryder is discussing the RAW main event with Josh Matthews before Awesome Truth attacks him.  You didn’t think Vince McMahon would allow Ryder to main event RAW did you? After the attack, Awesome Truth cuts a promo stating that no one is safe as they mock Triple H’s misfortune and inform Cena that he can’t rise above them.

Laurinaitis announces a handicap match as Ryder is unable to compete. This was a typical Cena match except for Awesome Truth displaying their cleverness by continually tagging out. As Cena was closing in on a victory, R-Truth reintroduces his water bottle to Cena’s cranium which gives Cena a win by DQ.

Awesome Truth continues the attack on Cena before Laurinaitis has it broken up by security. The Executive VP of talent relations announces a tag team match for Survivor Series that will feature Awesome Truth taking on Cena and a partner of his choice. Cena unsurprisingly chooses Rock as his partner.

Overall thoughts:

This was a pretty good RAW but I felt the Triple H/Nash fiasco should’ve been cut short and we didn’t need a million replays over the course of the episode. I’m questioning WWE’s decision to keep Air Boom off of television for two weeks in a row. I also find it strange that Ziggler took on Marella and the fact that he needed an assist by Swagger to defeat him.

What quality does Mason Ryan possess (besides looking like Batista) that makes him a worthy contender for the U.S. Championship.

Yes, I know I answered my own question there.

Why Kevin Nash still on my television screen? He sucks and doesn’t give a crap about anything but the numbers on his next paycheck.  Why has Natalya become the Christian of the Divas Division as she is basically the Diva to put over the ones on their way up?

Will Sheamus and Orton ever lose a match cleanly again?

Why is the Cena hater at almost every WWE event?

Will John Morrison ever win another WWE match?

Haven’t we had enough of Michael Cole’s shenanigans? However, if it means I only have to listen to his nauseating commentary on SmackDown, I’m all for this matchup.

Will Vince McMahon get Mason Ryan’s underwear out of his teeth long enough to take Ryder seriously?

How long will Triple H be out of action?

Why did the WWE test our intelligence tonight? They announced that Rock and Cena would be teaming up at Survivor Series a few weeks ago. It’s not like we’ll forget something as big as that.

And apparently, RAW is still all about The Game.

WWE Vengeance 2011 Review

Hello Revolutionaries, I am very enthusiastic right now as I actually enjoyed the WWE Vengeance pay per view. Yes, I enjoyed it but it doesn’t mean the pay per view didn’t have it flaws. Anyway, I felt as if I should give you a realistic point of view. Trust me, you’re going to read positive receives as this pay per view was generally received but the problems shouldn’t be ignored. The biggest problem was the lack of build going into the show. It was a solid pay per view but that build is crucial considering it determines if fans will buy your pay per view’s or not.

Anyway, here it is.

Unsurprisingly, the pay per view opens up with Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger. I figured the WWE wanted to have Ziggler come off as wrestling early in the show so he’ll be relaxed whenever his match with Ryder came later in the night. When Cole stated Ziggler’s match with Zack was immediately after this one, I figured Swagger would work the majority of this match.

This match was a great opener with both teams working exceptionally well with each other. It’s amazing that high flyer’s like Air Boom can sync well with collegiate wrestlers like ZigSwag. I wasn’t surprised when Air Boom got the win as it would be foolish to have Ziggler hold two titles let alone drop down to the tag team division.

AB wins with the TIP/STP combination while Ryder comes out for his U.S. Title match.

This was also a great match and it really displayed the fact that Dolph is a workhouse capable of putting on two great matches back to back. Ryder was also very impressive here and there were some moments where I thought Ryder would pull it off, rendering my prediction inaccurate. I don’t understand why Swagger and Vickie were allowed to stay at ringside because it gave away the finish to be honest.

I must say, Ziggler’s super kick was amazing and it looked as if he legitimately knocked Ryder out with it.

I can’t help but think that it made Ryder look kind of week considering Dolph had already wrestled a match.

Anyway, going into this pay per view, I knew Ryder wouldn’t win because Vinnie Mac’s bodybuilder fetish wouldn’t allow it. If anything, Mason Ryan is going to be the guy to take that U.S. Title off of Ziggler. Let’s not forget that Ryder is racking in loads of money through merchandise sales but apparently, Vince doesn’t think he’s good enough to win the U.S. Championship.

Vince would respond but he’s probably too busy being fondled by Mason.

A random segment featuring Triple H, CM Punk, and Ted Dibiase (briefly) hinted towards a turn by one of the two combatants. To be honest, it almost made me think Triple H was turning heel but it would have made the walkout angle completely irrelevant. Yeah, in case you didn’t notice, the point of it was to get Triple H over as a face and force fans to feel sorry for him.

Yep, it’s all about the Game (literally).

The matchup for the Divas Championship is undoubtedly the Divas match of the year. Eve went out and proved that she was better than Kelly Kelly. In my opinion, she always has been. Even though she lost, Eve looked great in defeat while making Beth look stronger as a Champion.

Next up, we have the Great White vs. Captain Charisma. This was a solid match but nothing stood out here as I was already anticipating the other matches five minutes into it. The WWE could’ve made this a gimmick match because the crowd wasn’t into it at all. Unsurprisingly, Sheamus goes over while Christian takes the pin in another uneventful feud. I felt as if Christian should’ve won this match if they planned on continuing this feud but Vince McMahon’s indifference towards Christian continues.

It’s sickening to watch Christian lose countless matches while portraying this CLB gimmick I’ve always hated.

It sucks.

Miz and R-Truth vs. Triple H and CM Punk was a pretty decent matchup with Awesome Truth picking up the win. I had Trips/Punk winning this but didn’t rule out a Kevin Nash sighting here and that’s exactly what happened. Why is this piece of crap still on my television screen? Modern fans don’t know who the hell he is and apparently those watching at home don’t either. Somehow, he always ends up somewhere I don’t want him and is apparently going to be on the opposite team vs. Rock/Cena at Survivor Series.

Anyone else notice that Nash botched his jackknife powerbomb?

Yeah, I’m sooooo excited for that matchup….

Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton put on a decent pay per view match that didn’t live up to the expectations I had for it. It seemed like any other match the two have had to be honest. Randy Orton isn’t losing three straight pay per views so I wasn’t surprised when he got the win after an RKO.

Whatever

Big Show vs. Mark Henry was really an eye opener as most fans predicted it to be a slow and uneventful match considering the size of the competitors. However, these two put on a pretty good big man matchup that ended with both retaining some momentum. To be honest, I saw the suplex spot coming a mile away. When Henry climbed the ropes I considered it already set and stone even though he got choke slammed. I wonder what Brock Lesnar has to say about this.

His peanut size brain wouldn’t allow anything over a kindergartener’s comprehension.

It was a great way to sell the impact of the suplex by introducing hospital personnel and the General Managers. Laurinaitis wasn’t exactly needed as we knew the WWE Title match would still take place.

Oh and he still absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, unquestionably, completely suck.

The WWE Champion comes out first to no reaction (as usual). Cena comes out to one of the biggest pops of the night while I question why the WWE Champion came out first. Anyway, Cena has some new attire that is undoubtedly better than that red crap he had been wearing. The rise above hate moniker is fitting as a guy had a “We Hate Cena” shirt on a Cena noticed.

Anyway, the match was pretty good with Del Rio being assisted by Awesome Truth and the WWE Championship. Fortunately, John Cena is apparently out of the WWE Title picture while unfortunately, Alberto Del Rio is still the WWE Champion.

Awesome Truth apparently created a reason for Cena to team with Rock at Survivor Series and basically confirmed the fact that we’re going to need a bulldozer to unbury them after facing Trips/Rock/Cena next month.

On the other hand, WWE is probably going to push a feud between Punk and Del Rio, The thing is, how long have these guys been in the WWE title picture? How many times have the faced off on free TV this year? Why would anyone want to purchase a pay per view that these two are headlining?

Exactly

Can we get some fresh talent in the title picture please? There’s a guy named Dolph Ziggler that wouldn’t do too bad if given an opportunity.

Overall thoughts:

Why is CM Punk still losing pay per view matches? Why is Ziggler going to drop the U.S. Championship to Mason Ryan instead of Zack Ryder? Why is Alberto Del Rio WWE Champion? Why would anyone be interested in Punk facing Del Rio? Did Orton have to win tonight? Did Sheamus have to win tonight?

Where was John Morrison for God sakes?

Solid pay per view like I stated above but the build could’ve been better.

WWE RAW Review 10/17/11: This was a Go Home Show?

Hello Enigmatic Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review August 17th, 2011. To be honest, I didn’t watch RAW live because I decided to read RAW Spoilers on Saturday. The show was absolutely horrible and I figured I had better things to watch that night like the Walking Dead. Anyway, I just finished watching RAW and I must say, I don’t regret not watching as it was as bad as the spoilers stated.

First up, Interim RAW General Manager, John Laurinaitis, opened the show with a Rey Mysterio joke that was in poor taste. Scratch that, Rey is rehabbing a injury that probably ended his career and to use it to get cheap heat for Funk Man is absolutely ridiculous. Laurinaitis brings out Jim Ross and announced match that would feature Jim Ross and John Cena taking on Alberto Del Rio and Michael Cole.

This segment was boring and I didn’t enjoy it at all. Like I’ve stated before, Johnny Ace promos are absolutely nauseating. On the other hand, did the WWE forget that they were in Mexico? This is the main event for the first RAW in Mexico?

Weird

Six Man Tag match: John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Sheamus vs. Christian, Mark Henry, and Cody Rhodes

The sole purpose of this match was to bury John Morrison. Yes, we do have two feuds tied into this match but why is Morrison here instead of the Big Show? Wouldn’t it have made sense considering the fact that they are feuding?

Anyway, I feel as if this #SaveJohnMorrison stuff should end considering he’s leaving the WWE. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. And if you have any doubts, I recommend that you watch the last two months of WWE programming.

It’s not hard to ignore considering those mindless sheep in the wrestling forums wet themselves every time he loses a match.

This burial is as blatant as MVP’s a few years back.

Another Brodus Clay vignette and I’m actually interested in Brodus right now.

Alberto is complaining to Laurinaitis again. He calms down after Ace states that the winner chooses the stipulation for the WWE title match at Vengeance.

And I really don’t care.

Eve Torres vs. Natalya

This was a typical Divas match set up the establish Eve as a worthy challenger to Beth Phoenix Sunday.  I don’t have any complaints but I question the spontaneous decision to put Eve in a title match. I mean, it’s not like she beat someone to earn a match at Vengeance.

But what do I know? I’m just a wrestling fan.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

This match wasn’t bad but like everything else on RAW, I was unable to get into it. Unsurprisingly, Triple H came out the steal the spotlight. He was ejected after some sort of issues with paper work. Throughout the duration of the match, I started to notice how Punk doesn’t entertain me anymore. It’s not that I’m hopping off of the Punk bandwagon but his booking as of late has been questionable and quite frankly, boring.

Obviously, CM Punk won but was immediately attacked by Awesome Truth after it was over. Quite frankly, I didn’t care for the attack and it didn’t do anything for me when it comes to hyping up the pay per view.

The highlight of the night came next when Dolph Ziggler cut his best promo yet. Unlike his recent promos, Dolph displayed a lot of emotion and got a substantial amount of heat because of it. Swagger’s recital of our national anthem was done solely for cheap heat. Thank God he didn’t have the mic for too long.

Zack Ryder interrupts and apparently, we have Ryder vs. Swagger

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

I looked away for a second and Ryder had already won the match with a Rough Ryder.  Thing is, I looked down and Mason Ryan was already on his way to the ring with one of the ugliest haircuts I’ve ever seen.  Personally, I would admire the WWE if they wouldn’t allow Ryan to touch a microphone.

EVER

Ryan orders Dolph to return to the ring as they have match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Mason Ryan

BORING!!!!!

The match was pretty boring and caused a little drowsiness. Ryan gets disqualified after attacking Ziggler after the count of five. Vinnie Mac’s latest love machine dominates Swagger and Dolph after the match was over.

Jimmy Ross is backstage confiding in John Cena. After some words of enthusiasm from Cena, Ross is ready to put an Oklahoma style beat down and Michael Tool.

John Cena and Jim Ross vs. Alberto Del Rio and Cody Rhodes

This was another sleep inducing matchup with Del Rio and Cena unsurprisingly working the better part of the match.  Jim Ross got some revenge on Cole after forcing him to submit with the ankle lock. I didn’t care because I was still in awe of how Berto barely got a reaction in his country.

Cena thwarts an attack by Del Rio before knocking him unconscious with the steel steps.

The Face of the WWE announces that his match with Alberto Del Rio at Vengeance will be a last man standing match.

Overall thoughts:

How in the blue hell is Alberto Del Rio supposed to defeat John Cena in a last man standing match? Can John Cena lose this type of match? Am I the only one who remembers the beating Alex Riley and Miz administered to Cena at Over the Limit? The Awesome Ones beat the holy hell out of Cena and he didn’t quit.

After a screw up by Riley, Cena locks Miz in the STF and he immediately quits?

It’s obvious that Cena will regain the WWE Championship or Cena will get screwed somehow.

On the other hand, when is the WWE/Vince McMahon going to realize that fans don’t give a crap about Alberto Del Rio? I know Del Rio has his fans but if you deny the fact that he didn’t get a reaction in HIS HOME COUNTRY, you should get your hearing checked.

Why doesn’t the WWE just release John Morrison already?

Dolph Ziggler was definitely the highlight of the night. Mason Ryan is still another product of the Vince McMahon bodybuilder fetish. Why isn’t Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes for the intercontinental championship? This was a great way for the WWE to bring some prestige to that title and they basically said, “Orton’s too big for the Intercontinental Championship”.

Don’t be surprised if Orton buries Rhodes Sunday.

Where was Air Boom?

Why did RAW absolutely suck this week?

This show would’ve been okay if it was two weeks before the pay per view but this was the go home show. This was the show that would sell this pay per view to fans. All this show did was force me to skip the pay per view and next week’s show.

In closing, SmackDown > RAW

WWE: The REAL Reason Why John Morrison and Drew McIntyre are Jobbers?

Hello Revolutionaries, RiZE here with an interesting set of news. It’s no secret that I am the biggest John Morrison mark on this planet. As of late, the frequency of stories revolving around Morrison’s impending WWE departure have gotten to a point where I don’t blame Morrison for exiting the WWE. Since his return, Morrison has become the WWE’s most noteworthy jobber, losing squash matches to the likes of Alberto Del Rio, Mark Henry, and Christian in less than five minutes.

The reason for Morrison’s relentless burial is reportedly his relationship with former WWE Diva, Melina.

For some time now, rumors of Melina’s infidelity and promiscuous behavior have caused fans and Vince McMahon to view Morrison in a negative live. Morrison refused to confront Dave Batista after he had a sexual relationship with Melina and this caused McMahon to lose respect for Morrison as a man. Yeah, the infamous Vince McMahon mentality strikes again.

The WrestleMania 27 fiasco with Melina/Trish Stratus followed by Melina attending a RAW episode a few days after her release from the company reportedly put backstage heat on JoMo. Morrison, who had just returned from a neck injury, was subject to a loss in every match he competed in.

With the exception of three matches, John Morrison has lost every single match he has partaken in since his return. This isn’t just live television, this is house shows included.

While most tend to blame WM 27 and Morrison’s “attitude”, a report published by F4WOnline.com, states “It’s believed that John Morrison will be leaving WWE soon. It’s said that he has done nothing wrong or caused trouble for officials but there’s speculation that like Drew McIntyre, Morrison is paying the price for who he was dating – former WWE Diva Melina”

On AfterBuzz, Maria Kanellis and Lilian Garcia spoke highly of Drew McIntyre and John Morrison before questioning why both aren’t getting pushed.

Here’s what Maria had to say about McIntyre:

I have a feeling he’s paid for someone else’s sins, problems, because Drew’s really good. I’d love to see him do more stuff, but it’s unfortunate that that happens.”

In case you’re unaware of what Maria’s referring to, McIntyre and his then wife, Taryn “Tiffany” Terell, got into a confrontation in Los Angeles last year shortly before Summerslam. It was reported that Terell was physical with McIntyre and was arrested for domestic violence. Tiffany was released by the WWE a few weeks later while McIntyre has been reduced to jobbing since the WWE Draft.

A few moments later, Maria said this about Morrison:

“I think it’s a lot of complications of outside stuff. I think that a lot of times they go with who’s going to be there, who’s always going to be there, who’s going to be the easiest. He’s very easy and I love him to pieces, but I think its outside complications. I think that’s why.”

Before I could hand out my “I told you so” to those who’ve defended Melina, another report was published by WrestleNewz.com.

This time, it was Melina responding to a comment made by some guy on twitter. The individual said “Will you stand trial for killing your bf’s career” #PrayForJoMo.”

The individual sent this to Melina after Morrison was buried by Christian in a short match and was subsequently attacked by Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, and Dolph Ziggler.

Melina responded via direct message and had this to say:

“The WWE did it. I never did anything but stand by him through thick and thin. We should all be so lucky as to have someone like that in our lives.”

“John worked his ass off and did EVERYTHING he was told. The blame shouldn’t be put on me. Blame the WWE”

I’m a little half and half on this situation. For one, I don’t think talented superstars like McIntyre and Morrison should be blamed for the actions of their significant other. Simply put, we can blame the WWE for this as they’re the ones administering the burials.  On the other hand, I do feel as if Melina has contributed greatly to the downfall of Morrison and the backstage opinion of him.

In the end, it’s sad that these guys are in their position they’re in because of this.

I stand behind Morrison’s decision to leave and McIntyre should consider doing so too as he hasn’t won a match in ages.

I wonder if McMahon would forgive them if they were bodybuilder like and equipped with an unlimited supply of baby oil.

Come on, you know it’s true.

#HEEL

WWE RAW Review/Rant: Worst Show Ever? 10/10/11

This isn’t just a RAW review. This is also a RAW rant because of the poor quality of last night’s show. To be honest, I’ve been watching World Wrestling Entertainment since 2001 and I must say, this is the worst RAW I’ve ever watched. Sure, I may be coming off as irrational here but there’s no denying that this RAW absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, unquestionably, SUCKED.

The show unsurprisingly kicked off with a Triple H promo. I have no complaints here as Triple H had to address the live audience and the protest. It wasn’t surprising to see Triple H sticking to his guns and refusing to quite as John Cena sticking with the boss. Sheamus and CM Punk pledged their allegiance to Triple H while the COO got the program rolling with Cena vs. Sheamus with himself acting as the referee.

The most positive thing to come out of this was CM Punk’s commentary.

Before I could enjoy RAW, Mr. McMahon made his return and relieved Triple H of his duties. Yes, Triple H is still the COO but no longer controls RAW. Vince announced that Johnny Ace is the interim General Manager until they could find someone to fit the role.

When McMahon announced that Laurinaitis was the GM, I knew the program and overall quality of RAW was going to rapidly deteriorate.

Johnny Ace is the worst character ever. He is an absolute snore and causes spontaneous nausea whenever he’s on my television. Sure, he can randomly show up and make matches but so can Teddy Long who has a passion for this business and is actually entertaining.

Backstage, Johnny Ace is greeting talent backstage when John Morrison voices his disapproval of Funkman’s promotion to General Manager. JoMo tells Laurinaitis he sucks with Funkman informing Morrison that he has a match. After Morrison leaves, Christian begins kissing Ace’s ass by telling him he should be the permanent GM instead of interim.

Laurinaitis approves of Christian’s comments and informs him that he has a match with John Morrison.

The Christian/JoMo match lasted three minutes and it absolutely sucked. Considering the fact that JoMo and Christian are great workers, this match should’ve been given more time. It sickens me to see what they’ve done with Christian.

Remember when all of those retired WWE Superstars said Christian losing the title in two days was a part of a bigger storyline?

Yes, it was the storyline that saw Christian get buried by Randy Orton in every encounter.

Anyway, Morrison loses the match after Christian’s coalition distracts him long enough for Christian to spear Morrison.  Morrison loses again, assuring every JoMoSapien out there that Morrison is leaving the WWE soon.

The Christian Coalition destroys Morrison, with each utilizing their finisher on the Prince of Parkour.

I’ve said it before, if you’re going to do to this guy, you might as well release him.

He’s just too talented for this crap.

Ace announces Henry vs. Orton when Triple H enters. A short segment with Triple H asking Ace is he ever picked up his teeth with broken fingers.

Mark Henry cuts the same promo he has since winning the championship. A prerecorded message from Orton plays claiming he will have vengeance against Henry.

Next up, we get Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry again. It was a solid match with Orton winning by disqualification after Cody Rhodes attacks him. Henry and Rhodes decimate Orton after the match with Cody bagging Orton at the conclusion. Rhodes vs. Orton would be a great feud if Orton is willing to put Rhodes over.

My problem is, why did Cody attempt the maniacal laugh?

It failed horribly.

Kelly Kelly and Eve beat Tamina and Rosa Mendes in a tag team matchup that Kelly spent the majority of screaming.

Laurinaitis announces John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio at Vengeance for the WWE Championship. I must say, why won’t the WWE take John Cena out of the WWE Title picture? Everything he has done from the moment they announced Cena/Rock to now has been filler and will continue to be until WrestleMania 28.

We just had this match at Night of Champions with Cena easily defeating Del Rio and stripping him of the little relevance he had.

If this wasn’t bad enough, Laurinaitis embarrasses Jim Ross by firing him in his hometown. I find this absolutely ridiculous but not surprising seeing as how the WWE loves to crap on their employees in front of their hometowns.

To be honest, I’d rather listen to a taped recording of Jim Ross than any of those guys on commentary.

RAW suddenly becomes green with Air Boom and Mason Ryan vs. Swiggler and David Otunga. To quote the internet champion, “are you serious bro?”

Mason Ryan pins Dolph Ziggler and is apparently taking the U.S. Title push most IWC members thought belonged to Ryder. The match itself was decent but the most noteworthy portion of it was Evan Bourne seemingly suffering an injury after Jack Swagger botched a power bomb.

There goes two pushes if Bourne suffered a significant injury here.

The WWE network and John Cena’s new movie is plugged.

To be honest, Cena’s movie is actually interesting.

Anyway, we get CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio for the third time on RAW. Typical Punk/Rio matchup Ace interrupting it and announcing the two would face the Awesome Truth.

Yeah, that’s surprising.

It was some decent back and forth actions with Del Rio unsurprisingly abandoning Punk.

Punk’s on the verge of victory until Awesome Truth get themselves disqualified and continue the attack on Punk after the match is over.

Before the duo could cause any significant damage, Triple H runs in and destroys Miz while Punk works over Truth. The two shake hands at the conclusion of RAW with Johnny Ace discussing Triple H and CM Punk vs. Awesome Truth with David Otunga.

Rant

I have never watched a RAW episode as horrible as the one that aired last night. I don’t understand why the WWE sees fit to ruin every interesting storyline they produce. They should’ve continued this “walkout” angle to Survivor Series at the very least. Aside from the first 25 minutes, everything was predictable and quite frankly, boring.

John Laurinaitis assuming the role as Interim GM is absolutely ridiculous. This guy is the worst mic worker I’ve ever watched in my entire life and has no personality whatsoever. He’s the most boring piece of crap to ever bless my television screen since Alberto Del Rio.

I find salvation in the fact that Ace is the interim General Manager and could very well lose the role in no time.

On the other hand, you have a plethora of main event worthy talent complaining about things they partake in on a weekly basis. Didn’t Christian’s coalition walkout because they felt unsafe? They felt that Awesome Truth was capable of attacking them at will.

Thing is, it makes WWE Creative look like morons and the superstars look like hypocrites.

I find it strange that a ton of SmackDown guys were complaining about their treatment on RAW.

Why is John Cena in another title match?

Why are CM Punk and Triple H teaming at Vengeance when they were at teach others throats a few weeks ago?

What happened to the anonymous RAW GM?

Why in the blue hell is Mason Ryan getting a U.S. Title shot instead of Zack Ryder? Obviously, its Vinnie Mac’s bodybuilder fetish making its presence felt again.

In the end, this RAW was bad. It was atrocious and I have a few final thoughts.

For one, I think Laurinaitis is the best thing to happen to RAW; Alberto Del Rio is the most charismatic WWE Champion of all time, I don’t think Vince McMahon has lost his mind, I totally see the appeal of Brodus Clay, Kelly Kelly and the Bella’s really are the best WWE Divas of all time, I think Justin Watry is the best writer on Bleacher Report, and I don’t think I’m the most realistic thing that has ever happened to Twitter, the YWC, the IWC, and especially the Bleacher Report Professional Wrestling Community.

#HEEL

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