WWE RAW Review 10/24/11: An Electrifying Show

Hello Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review and I must say, I enjoyed tonights RAW as the last two were absolutely nauseating. Initially, I expected a poor show considering WWE’s track record of dropping the ball when it comes to the RAW that follows a pay per view. Nonetheless, RAW was definitely pre planned and it was obvious considering the overall quality of the show.

Unsurprisingly, Triple H opens the show and apparently, he’s here to discuss Kevin Nash and his shocking attack last night (that was sarcasm). He discusses having his heart broken and subliminally mentions the Kliq while shockingly leaving out Scott Hall. I wonder why he didn’t mention Kevin Nash almost breaking his collarbone with that botched Jackknife last night.

Triple H’s tirade continues with him wanting to kick Nash’s ass until Laurinaitis interrupts. Why hasn’t this guy bought himself some cough drops or layoff the cigarettes already? It’s obviously destroying his voice.

Triple H threatens Ace and wants him to retire Nash or else. Hunter tries to leave but Nash shockingly (sarcasm) attacks Trips with a sledgehammer. Wow! A Triple H segment that didn’t last longer than 20 minutes!

Not

Apparently, a sledgehammer shot to the back cause’s seizures. As Triple H is being carted onto an ambulance, Kevin Cash returns and administers a sledgehammer shot the face of a unconscious Triple H. It’s funny that Triple H was basically kissing the ground considering he has made a career out of doing it to others.

Burial

After a string or replays, the first match commences in Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes and Christian. I’m going to pretend like Rhodes/Christian ever had a chance in this matchup but it was still solid nonetheless. I admire Sheamus for improvising the finish as it was apparent that he was supposed to connect with the Brogue Kick but a botch saw Sheamus utilize the Celtic cross instead.

Honestly, I’m surprised Rhodes was the one that got pinned. Considering Vince’s indifference towards Christian and his track record as of late, you’d think Christian would be the one to fall victim to Sheamus again.

Afterwards, Laurinaitis is apparently arguing with Stephanie McMahon over the events that transpired earlier in the evening. Otunga still can’t seem to get over his obsession of shopping at Sears and sipping on imitation coffee. Cena storms in and is actually very entertaining here.

I love the fact that he mentioned Ace’s skateboard days.

Unsurprisingly, Cena wants Awesome Truth and Laurinaitis will choose his partner.

After a commercial break, Santino is in the ring for a squash but I was utterly surprised when Ziggler’s theme music hit. The match was better than I expected but I find it strange that Ziggler needed an assist from Swagger to beat a comedic jobber like Santino Marella.  ZigSwag attacks Marella after the matchup until Mason “Batista” Ryan makes the save. Are you guys surprised? I told you, Vince McMahon’s bodybuilder fetish always prevails over pushing someone who is bringing in money like Zack Ryder.

The Bella’s and Zack Ryder are backstage as Ryder announces he’s Cena’s partner against Awesome Truth in the main event? Zack Ryder is in the RAW main event? You can’t be serious bro!

Alberto Del Rio is out next for his victory speech after his win over Cena at Vengeance. Unsurprisingly, the crowd doesn’t care about Alberto. Del Rio cuts his normal promo, proclaiming that he’s the best and unbeatable. You know you can’t call yourself the best without CM Punk taking exception to it.

The Voice of the Voiceless reminds Alberto that he has beaten him on a number of occasions while he has yet to receive his one on one rematch for the WWE Championship. Punk requests a rematch and Del Rio unsurprisingly turns the offer down. However, Punk threatens to put Rio to sleep with brings about the addition of Johnny Ace.

Laurinaitis proposes Punk/Del Rio for Survivor Series only if Punk says that he respects him. Punk cracks a number of jokes before Laurinaitis offers Punk one more chance. Punk unleashes his serious side and states that Funkman has done so little and gained so much. Laurinaitis doesn’t think Punk’s words are good enough and states that he’ll take another week to contemplate granting Punk a shot.

Punk attacks Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez attempting to make the save. Punk drops Ricardo with a GTS as stares a departing Alberto Del Rio.

Anyway, we have Natalya vs. Alicia Fox with the most noteworthy portion of this entire segment being the awful new theme of Alicia Fox. It’s almost as bad as that new theme Eve debuted at Vengeance. To be honest, I looked away for a few seconds and it was over. Fortunately for me, I caught the replay and I was surprised to see Alicia picking up the win after a rollup.

Whatevs

I’m actually surprised to see Morrison come out as he mentioned his Out of Your Mind fitness DVD on Twitter earlier today. Nonetheless, it’s always delightful to see the Prince of Parkour in action but I was shocked when his opponent was revealed. Wade Barrett is apparently being pushed again and Morrison is going to be his next victim (after Daniel Bryan of course).

The match started off pretty good with some nice back and forth action that spilled to the arena floor. Barrett throws Morrison into the fan barrier as we cut to a commercial break.

Honestly, it’s shocking that a Morrison match made it to a commercial break.

After the commercial break, the two had a pretty good matchup with Morrison finally looking decent after the series of squashes he has been victim of. However, Barrett picks up the win with the Wasteland. Barrett botched his first attempt by not being able to catch Morrison.

It was difficult to improvise as fans already caught on to the slip.

Cole and Lawler are discussing what happened to Triple H until Cole spontaneously discusses/bashes Jim Ross in front of the live audience. Cole shows a number of photo shopped pictures of Jim Ross before his issues a challenge to the Hall of Famer. Cole states that if JR beat him on next week’s RAW, he would quit his announcing position and JR can have his place back.

Zack Ryder is discussing the RAW main event with Josh Matthews before Awesome Truth attacks him.  You didn’t think Vince McMahon would allow Ryder to main event RAW did you? After the attack, Awesome Truth cuts a promo stating that no one is safe as they mock Triple H’s misfortune and inform Cena that he can’t rise above them.

Laurinaitis announces a handicap match as Ryder is unable to compete. This was a typical Cena match except for Awesome Truth displaying their cleverness by continually tagging out. As Cena was closing in on a victory, R-Truth reintroduces his water bottle to Cena’s cranium which gives Cena a win by DQ.

Awesome Truth continues the attack on Cena before Laurinaitis has it broken up by security. The Executive VP of talent relations announces a tag team match for Survivor Series that will feature Awesome Truth taking on Cena and a partner of his choice. Cena unsurprisingly chooses Rock as his partner.

Overall thoughts:

This was a pretty good RAW but I felt the Triple H/Nash fiasco should’ve been cut short and we didn’t need a million replays over the course of the episode. I’m questioning WWE’s decision to keep Air Boom off of television for two weeks in a row. I also find it strange that Ziggler took on Marella and the fact that he needed an assist by Swagger to defeat him.

What quality does Mason Ryan possess (besides looking like Batista) that makes him a worthy contender for the U.S. Championship.

Yes, I know I answered my own question there.

Why Kevin Nash still on my television screen? He sucks and doesn’t give a crap about anything but the numbers on his next paycheck.  Why has Natalya become the Christian of the Divas Division as she is basically the Diva to put over the ones on their way up?

Will Sheamus and Orton ever lose a match cleanly again?

Why is the Cena hater at almost every WWE event?

Will John Morrison ever win another WWE match?

Haven’t we had enough of Michael Cole’s shenanigans? However, if it means I only have to listen to his nauseating commentary on SmackDown, I’m all for this matchup.

Will Vince McMahon get Mason Ryan’s underwear out of his teeth long enough to take Ryder seriously?

How long will Triple H be out of action?

Why did the WWE test our intelligence tonight? They announced that Rock and Cena would be teaming up at Survivor Series a few weeks ago. It’s not like we’ll forget something as big as that.

And apparently, RAW is still all about The Game.

WWE: Why is Seth Rollins still in FCW?

What’s wrong with the WWE?

I found myself asking this question at the conclusion of each episode of WWE programming that preceded CM Punk’s infamous shoot on the July 27th edition of Monday Night RAW. While I’ll admit that the WWE did provide fresh, compelling, and extraordinary programming in the weeks that followed, I once again find myself asking “What’s wrong with the WWE?”

Thing is, I’m not referring to current WWE programming as a whole but it’s more of who they decide to bring out of their developmental territory, Florida Championship Wrestling (FCW). For example, FCW “alumni” Mason Ryan, David Otunga, and Jinder Mahal exemplify the phrase, GREEN, when it comes to professional wrestling.

Despite my personal objections, each has retained a position on the WWE’s main roster. For me, this displayed FCW in a negative light as I refused to watch their matches considering the level of mediocrity brought to the main roster by World Wrestling Entertainment. That is, until I watched my first Ring of Honor pay per view, Glory by Honor IX.

For the first time in months, pro wrestling sent me into a short period of introspection. Instead of proclaiming wrestling as boring, predictable, and political, I felt as if pro wrestling was an art. Instead of the entertainment and pro wrestling conglomerate known as the WWE, I was star struck by the silent enigma known as Ring of Honor.

Besides the familiar faces of Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Hauss, Balls Mahoney, and Daivari, I was particularly impressed by Tyler Black.  When I joined the B/R, one of the first articles I read pertained to him inking a developmental deal with the WWE. Most of the writers spoke highly of Black, proclaiming him to be a main event talent before his debut. As a fan that’d rather be in awe of flash and the high flying genre, you can imagine my reaction to Black and his exquisite wrestling style.

From my point of view, I was the connoisseur while Black was the proverbial artiste.

Initially, I felt an undying feeling of regret for brushing Ring of Honor off as I would calmly use the “I’ll watch it another time” whenever someone recommended the relatively unknown wrestling company (casual fans). If it had not have been for an article by a friend, it’s likely that I would’ve never watched Glory by Honor that night.

Nonetheless, the sensational feeling of nostalgia brought me to an FCW match featuring Seth “Tyler Black” Rollins and Dean “Jon Moxley” Ambrose. In 15 minutes (twice the amount of a typical WWE match), Rollins and Ambrose impressed me more than anything the WWE has produced in some time.

As spectacular as the first match was, the second was that much better. At this point, I was bewildered by the WWE and their decision to bring superstars like Ryan, Otunga, and Mahal up to the main roster while Rollins was approaching his first year in WWE developmental.

When the final match in the Ambrose/Rollins trilogy debuted on YouTube Monday afternoon, I felt inclined to reiterate my earlier claim and questioned why Rollins (and Ambrose for that matter) are still in FCW. Despite the answer being in my face, I ignored the proverbial writing on the wall.

Simply put, the same thing that plagues 90% of the current WWE roster plagues extremely talented guys like Seth Rollins down in FCW. WWE Creative doesn’t have storyline direction for any of them. It’s either this or Vincent Kennedy McMahon’s bodybuilder fetish making its presence felt once again.

Disagree? Ask Dolph Ziggler, Mason Ryan, and Zack Ryder.

It’s sad that I could create a role for Rollins over the space of fifteen minutes after a quick observation of WWE Programming and what the company is in need of.

On a somber note, Seth Rollins could find himself in John Morrison’s spot if the Prince of Parkour leaves the WWE when his contract is up.

Whenever Rollins finally pops up on my television screen, I’ll rejoice at the thought of this guy with unlimited potential leaving his mark on the WWE and its disputed fan base.

WWE RAW Review/Rant: Worst Show Ever? 10/10/11

This isn’t just a RAW review. This is also a RAW rant because of the poor quality of last night’s show. To be honest, I’ve been watching World Wrestling Entertainment since 2001 and I must say, this is the worst RAW I’ve ever watched. Sure, I may be coming off as irrational here but there’s no denying that this RAW absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, unquestionably, SUCKED.

The show unsurprisingly kicked off with a Triple H promo. I have no complaints here as Triple H had to address the live audience and the protest. It wasn’t surprising to see Triple H sticking to his guns and refusing to quite as John Cena sticking with the boss. Sheamus and CM Punk pledged their allegiance to Triple H while the COO got the program rolling with Cena vs. Sheamus with himself acting as the referee.

The most positive thing to come out of this was CM Punk’s commentary.

Before I could enjoy RAW, Mr. McMahon made his return and relieved Triple H of his duties. Yes, Triple H is still the COO but no longer controls RAW. Vince announced that Johnny Ace is the interim General Manager until they could find someone to fit the role.

When McMahon announced that Laurinaitis was the GM, I knew the program and overall quality of RAW was going to rapidly deteriorate.

Johnny Ace is the worst character ever. He is an absolute snore and causes spontaneous nausea whenever he’s on my television. Sure, he can randomly show up and make matches but so can Teddy Long who has a passion for this business and is actually entertaining.

Backstage, Johnny Ace is greeting talent backstage when John Morrison voices his disapproval of Funkman’s promotion to General Manager. JoMo tells Laurinaitis he sucks with Funkman informing Morrison that he has a match. After Morrison leaves, Christian begins kissing Ace’s ass by telling him he should be the permanent GM instead of interim.

Laurinaitis approves of Christian’s comments and informs him that he has a match with John Morrison.

The Christian/JoMo match lasted three minutes and it absolutely sucked. Considering the fact that JoMo and Christian are great workers, this match should’ve been given more time. It sickens me to see what they’ve done with Christian.

Remember when all of those retired WWE Superstars said Christian losing the title in two days was a part of a bigger storyline?

Yes, it was the storyline that saw Christian get buried by Randy Orton in every encounter.

Anyway, Morrison loses the match after Christian’s coalition distracts him long enough for Christian to spear Morrison.  Morrison loses again, assuring every JoMoSapien out there that Morrison is leaving the WWE soon.

The Christian Coalition destroys Morrison, with each utilizing their finisher on the Prince of Parkour.

I’ve said it before, if you’re going to do to this guy, you might as well release him.

He’s just too talented for this crap.

Ace announces Henry vs. Orton when Triple H enters. A short segment with Triple H asking Ace is he ever picked up his teeth with broken fingers.

Mark Henry cuts the same promo he has since winning the championship. A prerecorded message from Orton plays claiming he will have vengeance against Henry.

Next up, we get Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry again. It was a solid match with Orton winning by disqualification after Cody Rhodes attacks him. Henry and Rhodes decimate Orton after the match with Cody bagging Orton at the conclusion. Rhodes vs. Orton would be a great feud if Orton is willing to put Rhodes over.

My problem is, why did Cody attempt the maniacal laugh?

It failed horribly.

Kelly Kelly and Eve beat Tamina and Rosa Mendes in a tag team matchup that Kelly spent the majority of screaming.

Laurinaitis announces John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio at Vengeance for the WWE Championship. I must say, why won’t the WWE take John Cena out of the WWE Title picture? Everything he has done from the moment they announced Cena/Rock to now has been filler and will continue to be until WrestleMania 28.

We just had this match at Night of Champions with Cena easily defeating Del Rio and stripping him of the little relevance he had.

If this wasn’t bad enough, Laurinaitis embarrasses Jim Ross by firing him in his hometown. I find this absolutely ridiculous but not surprising seeing as how the WWE loves to crap on their employees in front of their hometowns.

To be honest, I’d rather listen to a taped recording of Jim Ross than any of those guys on commentary.

RAW suddenly becomes green with Air Boom and Mason Ryan vs. Swiggler and David Otunga. To quote the internet champion, “are you serious bro?”

Mason Ryan pins Dolph Ziggler and is apparently taking the U.S. Title push most IWC members thought belonged to Ryder. The match itself was decent but the most noteworthy portion of it was Evan Bourne seemingly suffering an injury after Jack Swagger botched a power bomb.

There goes two pushes if Bourne suffered a significant injury here.

The WWE network and John Cena’s new movie is plugged.

To be honest, Cena’s movie is actually interesting.

Anyway, we get CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio for the third time on RAW. Typical Punk/Rio matchup Ace interrupting it and announcing the two would face the Awesome Truth.

Yeah, that’s surprising.

It was some decent back and forth actions with Del Rio unsurprisingly abandoning Punk.

Punk’s on the verge of victory until Awesome Truth get themselves disqualified and continue the attack on Punk after the match is over.

Before the duo could cause any significant damage, Triple H runs in and destroys Miz while Punk works over Truth. The two shake hands at the conclusion of RAW with Johnny Ace discussing Triple H and CM Punk vs. Awesome Truth with David Otunga.

Rant

I have never watched a RAW episode as horrible as the one that aired last night. I don’t understand why the WWE sees fit to ruin every interesting storyline they produce. They should’ve continued this “walkout” angle to Survivor Series at the very least. Aside from the first 25 minutes, everything was predictable and quite frankly, boring.

John Laurinaitis assuming the role as Interim GM is absolutely ridiculous. This guy is the worst mic worker I’ve ever watched in my entire life and has no personality whatsoever. He’s the most boring piece of crap to ever bless my television screen since Alberto Del Rio.

I find salvation in the fact that Ace is the interim General Manager and could very well lose the role in no time.

On the other hand, you have a plethora of main event worthy talent complaining about things they partake in on a weekly basis. Didn’t Christian’s coalition walkout because they felt unsafe? They felt that Awesome Truth was capable of attacking them at will.

Thing is, it makes WWE Creative look like morons and the superstars look like hypocrites.

I find it strange that a ton of SmackDown guys were complaining about their treatment on RAW.

Why is John Cena in another title match?

Why are CM Punk and Triple H teaming at Vengeance when they were at teach others throats a few weeks ago?

What happened to the anonymous RAW GM?

Why in the blue hell is Mason Ryan getting a U.S. Title shot instead of Zack Ryder? Obviously, its Vinnie Mac’s bodybuilder fetish making its presence felt again.

In the end, this RAW was bad. It was atrocious and I have a few final thoughts.

For one, I think Laurinaitis is the best thing to happen to RAW; Alberto Del Rio is the most charismatic WWE Champion of all time, I don’t think Vince McMahon has lost his mind, I totally see the appeal of Brodus Clay, Kelly Kelly and the Bella’s really are the best WWE Divas of all time, I think Justin Watry is the best writer on Bleacher Report, and I don’t think I’m the most realistic thing that has ever happened to Twitter, the YWC, the IWC, and especially the Bleacher Report Professional Wrestling Community.

#HEEL

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