WWE RAW Review 10/24/11: An Electrifying Show

Hello Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review and I must say, I enjoyed tonights RAW as the last two were absolutely nauseating. Initially, I expected a poor show considering WWE’s track record of dropping the ball when it comes to the RAW that follows a pay per view. Nonetheless, RAW was definitely pre planned and it was obvious considering the overall quality of the show.

Unsurprisingly, Triple H opens the show and apparently, he’s here to discuss Kevin Nash and his shocking attack last night (that was sarcasm). He discusses having his heart broken and subliminally mentions the Kliq while shockingly leaving out Scott Hall. I wonder why he didn’t mention Kevin Nash almost breaking his collarbone with that botched Jackknife last night.

Triple H’s tirade continues with him wanting to kick Nash’s ass until Laurinaitis interrupts. Why hasn’t this guy bought himself some cough drops or layoff the cigarettes already? It’s obviously destroying his voice.

Triple H threatens Ace and wants him to retire Nash or else. Hunter tries to leave but Nash shockingly (sarcasm) attacks Trips with a sledgehammer. Wow! A Triple H segment that didn’t last longer than 20 minutes!

Not

Apparently, a sledgehammer shot to the back cause’s seizures. As Triple H is being carted onto an ambulance, Kevin Cash returns and administers a sledgehammer shot the face of a unconscious Triple H. It’s funny that Triple H was basically kissing the ground considering he has made a career out of doing it to others.

Burial

After a string or replays, the first match commences in Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes and Christian. I’m going to pretend like Rhodes/Christian ever had a chance in this matchup but it was still solid nonetheless. I admire Sheamus for improvising the finish as it was apparent that he was supposed to connect with the Brogue Kick but a botch saw Sheamus utilize the Celtic cross instead.

Honestly, I’m surprised Rhodes was the one that got pinned. Considering Vince’s indifference towards Christian and his track record as of late, you’d think Christian would be the one to fall victim to Sheamus again.

Afterwards, Laurinaitis is apparently arguing with Stephanie McMahon over the events that transpired earlier in the evening. Otunga still can’t seem to get over his obsession of shopping at Sears and sipping on imitation coffee. Cena storms in and is actually very entertaining here.

I love the fact that he mentioned Ace’s skateboard days.

Unsurprisingly, Cena wants Awesome Truth and Laurinaitis will choose his partner.

After a commercial break, Santino is in the ring for a squash but I was utterly surprised when Ziggler’s theme music hit. The match was better than I expected but I find it strange that Ziggler needed an assist from Swagger to beat a comedic jobber like Santino Marella.  ZigSwag attacks Marella after the matchup until Mason “Batista” Ryan makes the save. Are you guys surprised? I told you, Vince McMahon’s bodybuilder fetish always prevails over pushing someone who is bringing in money like Zack Ryder.

The Bella’s and Zack Ryder are backstage as Ryder announces he’s Cena’s partner against Awesome Truth in the main event? Zack Ryder is in the RAW main event? You can’t be serious bro!

Alberto Del Rio is out next for his victory speech after his win over Cena at Vengeance. Unsurprisingly, the crowd doesn’t care about Alberto. Del Rio cuts his normal promo, proclaiming that he’s the best and unbeatable. You know you can’t call yourself the best without CM Punk taking exception to it.

The Voice of the Voiceless reminds Alberto that he has beaten him on a number of occasions while he has yet to receive his one on one rematch for the WWE Championship. Punk requests a rematch and Del Rio unsurprisingly turns the offer down. However, Punk threatens to put Rio to sleep with brings about the addition of Johnny Ace.

Laurinaitis proposes Punk/Del Rio for Survivor Series only if Punk says that he respects him. Punk cracks a number of jokes before Laurinaitis offers Punk one more chance. Punk unleashes his serious side and states that Funkman has done so little and gained so much. Laurinaitis doesn’t think Punk’s words are good enough and states that he’ll take another week to contemplate granting Punk a shot.

Punk attacks Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez attempting to make the save. Punk drops Ricardo with a GTS as stares a departing Alberto Del Rio.

Anyway, we have Natalya vs. Alicia Fox with the most noteworthy portion of this entire segment being the awful new theme of Alicia Fox. It’s almost as bad as that new theme Eve debuted at Vengeance. To be honest, I looked away for a few seconds and it was over. Fortunately for me, I caught the replay and I was surprised to see Alicia picking up the win after a rollup.

Whatevs

I’m actually surprised to see Morrison come out as he mentioned his Out of Your Mind fitness DVD on Twitter earlier today. Nonetheless, it’s always delightful to see the Prince of Parkour in action but I was shocked when his opponent was revealed. Wade Barrett is apparently being pushed again and Morrison is going to be his next victim (after Daniel Bryan of course).

The match started off pretty good with some nice back and forth action that spilled to the arena floor. Barrett throws Morrison into the fan barrier as we cut to a commercial break.

Honestly, it’s shocking that a Morrison match made it to a commercial break.

After the commercial break, the two had a pretty good matchup with Morrison finally looking decent after the series of squashes he has been victim of. However, Barrett picks up the win with the Wasteland. Barrett botched his first attempt by not being able to catch Morrison.

It was difficult to improvise as fans already caught on to the slip.

Cole and Lawler are discussing what happened to Triple H until Cole spontaneously discusses/bashes Jim Ross in front of the live audience. Cole shows a number of photo shopped pictures of Jim Ross before his issues a challenge to the Hall of Famer. Cole states that if JR beat him on next week’s RAW, he would quit his announcing position and JR can have his place back.

Zack Ryder is discussing the RAW main event with Josh Matthews before Awesome Truth attacks him.  You didn’t think Vince McMahon would allow Ryder to main event RAW did you? After the attack, Awesome Truth cuts a promo stating that no one is safe as they mock Triple H’s misfortune and inform Cena that he can’t rise above them.

Laurinaitis announces a handicap match as Ryder is unable to compete. This was a typical Cena match except for Awesome Truth displaying their cleverness by continually tagging out. As Cena was closing in on a victory, R-Truth reintroduces his water bottle to Cena’s cranium which gives Cena a win by DQ.

Awesome Truth continues the attack on Cena before Laurinaitis has it broken up by security. The Executive VP of talent relations announces a tag team match for Survivor Series that will feature Awesome Truth taking on Cena and a partner of his choice. Cena unsurprisingly chooses Rock as his partner.

Overall thoughts:

This was a pretty good RAW but I felt the Triple H/Nash fiasco should’ve been cut short and we didn’t need a million replays over the course of the episode. I’m questioning WWE’s decision to keep Air Boom off of television for two weeks in a row. I also find it strange that Ziggler took on Marella and the fact that he needed an assist by Swagger to defeat him.

What quality does Mason Ryan possess (besides looking like Batista) that makes him a worthy contender for the U.S. Championship.

Yes, I know I answered my own question there.

Why Kevin Nash still on my television screen? He sucks and doesn’t give a crap about anything but the numbers on his next paycheck.  Why has Natalya become the Christian of the Divas Division as she is basically the Diva to put over the ones on their way up?

Will Sheamus and Orton ever lose a match cleanly again?

Why is the Cena hater at almost every WWE event?

Will John Morrison ever win another WWE match?

Haven’t we had enough of Michael Cole’s shenanigans? However, if it means I only have to listen to his nauseating commentary on SmackDown, I’m all for this matchup.

Will Vince McMahon get Mason Ryan’s underwear out of his teeth long enough to take Ryder seriously?

How long will Triple H be out of action?

Why did the WWE test our intelligence tonight? They announced that Rock and Cena would be teaming up at Survivor Series a few weeks ago. It’s not like we’ll forget something as big as that.

And apparently, RAW is still all about The Game.

WWE RAW Review 10/17/11: This was a Go Home Show?

Hello Enigmatic Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review August 17th, 2011. To be honest, I didn’t watch RAW live because I decided to read RAW Spoilers on Saturday. The show was absolutely horrible and I figured I had better things to watch that night like the Walking Dead. Anyway, I just finished watching RAW and I must say, I don’t regret not watching as it was as bad as the spoilers stated.

First up, Interim RAW General Manager, John Laurinaitis, opened the show with a Rey Mysterio joke that was in poor taste. Scratch that, Rey is rehabbing a injury that probably ended his career and to use it to get cheap heat for Funk Man is absolutely ridiculous. Laurinaitis brings out Jim Ross and announced match that would feature Jim Ross and John Cena taking on Alberto Del Rio and Michael Cole.

This segment was boring and I didn’t enjoy it at all. Like I’ve stated before, Johnny Ace promos are absolutely nauseating. On the other hand, did the WWE forget that they were in Mexico? This is the main event for the first RAW in Mexico?

Weird

Six Man Tag match: John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Sheamus vs. Christian, Mark Henry, and Cody Rhodes

The sole purpose of this match was to bury John Morrison. Yes, we do have two feuds tied into this match but why is Morrison here instead of the Big Show? Wouldn’t it have made sense considering the fact that they are feuding?

Anyway, I feel as if this #SaveJohnMorrison stuff should end considering he’s leaving the WWE. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. And if you have any doubts, I recommend that you watch the last two months of WWE programming.

It’s not hard to ignore considering those mindless sheep in the wrestling forums wet themselves every time he loses a match.

This burial is as blatant as MVP’s a few years back.

Another Brodus Clay vignette and I’m actually interested in Brodus right now.

Alberto is complaining to Laurinaitis again. He calms down after Ace states that the winner chooses the stipulation for the WWE title match at Vengeance.

And I really don’t care.

Eve Torres vs. Natalya

This was a typical Divas match set up the establish Eve as a worthy challenger to Beth Phoenix Sunday.  I don’t have any complaints but I question the spontaneous decision to put Eve in a title match. I mean, it’s not like she beat someone to earn a match at Vengeance.

But what do I know? I’m just a wrestling fan.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

This match wasn’t bad but like everything else on RAW, I was unable to get into it. Unsurprisingly, Triple H came out the steal the spotlight. He was ejected after some sort of issues with paper work. Throughout the duration of the match, I started to notice how Punk doesn’t entertain me anymore. It’s not that I’m hopping off of the Punk bandwagon but his booking as of late has been questionable and quite frankly, boring.

Obviously, CM Punk won but was immediately attacked by Awesome Truth after it was over. Quite frankly, I didn’t care for the attack and it didn’t do anything for me when it comes to hyping up the pay per view.

The highlight of the night came next when Dolph Ziggler cut his best promo yet. Unlike his recent promos, Dolph displayed a lot of emotion and got a substantial amount of heat because of it. Swagger’s recital of our national anthem was done solely for cheap heat. Thank God he didn’t have the mic for too long.

Zack Ryder interrupts and apparently, we have Ryder vs. Swagger

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

I looked away for a second and Ryder had already won the match with a Rough Ryder.  Thing is, I looked down and Mason Ryan was already on his way to the ring with one of the ugliest haircuts I’ve ever seen.  Personally, I would admire the WWE if they wouldn’t allow Ryan to touch a microphone.

EVER

Ryan orders Dolph to return to the ring as they have match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Mason Ryan

BORING!!!!!

The match was pretty boring and caused a little drowsiness. Ryan gets disqualified after attacking Ziggler after the count of five. Vinnie Mac’s latest love machine dominates Swagger and Dolph after the match was over.

Jimmy Ross is backstage confiding in John Cena. After some words of enthusiasm from Cena, Ross is ready to put an Oklahoma style beat down and Michael Tool.

John Cena and Jim Ross vs. Alberto Del Rio and Cody Rhodes

This was another sleep inducing matchup with Del Rio and Cena unsurprisingly working the better part of the match.  Jim Ross got some revenge on Cole after forcing him to submit with the ankle lock. I didn’t care because I was still in awe of how Berto barely got a reaction in his country.

Cena thwarts an attack by Del Rio before knocking him unconscious with the steel steps.

The Face of the WWE announces that his match with Alberto Del Rio at Vengeance will be a last man standing match.

Overall thoughts:

How in the blue hell is Alberto Del Rio supposed to defeat John Cena in a last man standing match? Can John Cena lose this type of match? Am I the only one who remembers the beating Alex Riley and Miz administered to Cena at Over the Limit? The Awesome Ones beat the holy hell out of Cena and he didn’t quit.

After a screw up by Riley, Cena locks Miz in the STF and he immediately quits?

It’s obvious that Cena will regain the WWE Championship or Cena will get screwed somehow.

On the other hand, when is the WWE/Vince McMahon going to realize that fans don’t give a crap about Alberto Del Rio? I know Del Rio has his fans but if you deny the fact that he didn’t get a reaction in HIS HOME COUNTRY, you should get your hearing checked.

Why doesn’t the WWE just release John Morrison already?

Dolph Ziggler was definitely the highlight of the night. Mason Ryan is still another product of the Vince McMahon bodybuilder fetish. Why isn’t Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes for the intercontinental championship? This was a great way for the WWE to bring some prestige to that title and they basically said, “Orton’s too big for the Intercontinental Championship”.

Don’t be surprised if Orton buries Rhodes Sunday.

Where was Air Boom?

Why did RAW absolutely suck this week?

This show would’ve been okay if it was two weeks before the pay per view but this was the go home show. This was the show that would sell this pay per view to fans. All this show did was force me to skip the pay per view and next week’s show.

In closing, SmackDown > RAW

Vincent Kennedy McMahon’s WWE Mandate: Revealed

The September 12th edition of Monday Night RAW was indeed an uneventful one. Despite the slight interest in programs over the United States and WWE Championships, I found myself awaiting the “final confrontation” between CM Punk and Triple H before their match at Night of Champions 2011. As the spine curling promo began, Punk spoke of Kevin Nash and the eye widening set of events that occurred during the RAW’s that preceded this particular one.

While Triple H responded in his snarky, egotistical, and heavy opinionated manner, Punk responded with his controversial and realistic accusations that effectively break kayfabe.  The promo itself echoed those that preceded it until Punk said something that caught my attention.

You both share the same opinions and philosophies that a guy who looks like me doesn’t belong in a ring with someone who looks like you. The big thing that infuriates me is that for years now you’ve both had this weird bodybuilder fetish/fantasy about what a main event caliber superstar needs to look like. And based on that, guys who don’t fit your image or more importantly guys that do fit your image are afforded ten times the opportunities”

Triple H cut Punk off before he could finish his statement but those very words shook the foundation we walk on as hardcore wrestling fans while sending me into a short period of introspection.  It’s no secret that Vince McMahon has undying love for bodybuilder like entertainers or models while he consistently devalues the actual professional wrestlers working for him.

For example, FCW “alumni” Mason Ryan, David Otunga, and Jinder Mahal exemplify the phrase, GREEN, when it comes to professional wrestling.

A short time ago, I decided to observe a number of FCW matches due to the mediocrity of the three listed above. Initially, I expected the worse while ruling out the possibility of anything positive coming out of my time of observation.

However, my memory allowed me to forget that Seth “Tyler Black” Rollins was a part of the FCW roster. Last year, I adopted Rollins as favorite due to his unlimited potential and exquisite style of wrestling. Rollins wasn’t the only standout as his arch rival, Dean Ambrose, was equally talented.

In 15 minutes (twice the amount of a typical WWE match), Rollins and Ambrose impressed me more than anything a WWE entertainer has produced in some time.  In a moment that will forever live in my nostalgia, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose faced off in a thirty minute war over the FCW 15 Championship.

I must say, as spectacular as the first two matches were, the third was that much better.

At this point, I was bewildered by the WWE and their decision to bring superstars like Ryan, Otunga, and Mahal up to the main roster while Rollins was approaching his first year in WWE developmental.

Thing is, they fit Vince McMahon’s mold of what a true WWE main event star should look like.

While Vince caters to these entertainers, wrestlers like Seth Rollins, Richie Steamboat, and Dean Ambrose waste away in the WWE’s Developmental Territory, FCW.

The fact that this mentality not only exists on the main roster but in their developmental territory displays some of the things that is wrong with the WWE and professional wrestling as a whole.

When it comes to the main roster, guys like Christian or Daniel Bryan aren’t being used to their full capability. Christian, who is arguably the best all around superstar besides CM Punk, wasted away in the WWE for three years until the unfortunate retirement of his best friend placed him in a perfect position to capture the World Title.

Daniel Bryan, the best wrestler in the WWE, hasn’t been utilized properly since winning the SmackDown Money in the Bank ladder match a few months ago.  Instead of building towards his proposed cash in at WrestleMania 28, Bryan has been used for sporadic feuds and as a stepping stone to the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara program.

This effectively brings me to my next point.

When I observe the current WWE roster, I realize that wrestlers like Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Christian, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, and Christian are forced to play second fiddle to the John Cena’s, the Randy Orton’s, and the Kelly Kelly’s of the WWE.

These entertainers fit the WWE mold and therefore retain the protection of the higher ups. The wrestlers listed above are used as jokes or stooges in favor of the entertainers of the WWE.

If you disagree, I advise you to examine the booking of Beth Phoenix and Natalya Neidhart. The so called “Divas of Doom” were supposed to eliminate the models of the WWE Diva Division (ex. Kelly Kelly/Bella Twins).

Instead, they’ve suffered humiliating and distinctive defeat at the hands of Kelly and the infamous “models” they were referring to. As fans, for us to take Phoenix/Neidhart seriously, they have to win matches that involve Kelly Kelly.

Sure, they can squash AJ Lee and Kaitlyn at will while the finish to each matchup that involves them facing Kelly Kelly has become a paradigm?

This is just another distinct example of wrestlers being used to enhance the entertainers. The proverbial writing on the wall has been apparent for years but didn’t spark an Internet outrage until Christian lost the World Championship to Randy Orton two days after winning it.

Now, Christian is a cowardly heel who constantly begs for “one more match”. The fact that fans refuse to boo Christian despite his persona being devised for fans to hate him displays why McMahon’s opinion and choices aren’t always right.

Yes, wrestlers like CM Punk have broken through McMahon’s flawed opinion but things like this come a dime a dozen. Punk’s ascension to the top gives a small light of hope for wrestlers but their overall chance for success in the WWE is questionable.

Personally, I feel as if the traditional will always be held back in the WWE but there will always come those “once in a lifetime” wrestlers that overcome the McMahon stereotype/preference.

Finally, if you still find yourself questioning my opinion/logic on the validity of entertainment vs. legitimate wrestlers, I’d advise you to watch RAW or SmackDown and observe the two figures both shows revolve around.

Kindly observe the super-powered or magical beings springing to life after a consistent beating. While you’re doing so, observe the other set of WWE Superstars. These guys seemingly have all the talent in the world but fail to receive the equal opportunity the super beings are given.

If you realize and understand the recurring trend, you’ve been witness to the Vince McMahon Mandate.

Enjoy

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