WWE Survivor Series 2011: Preview and My Finishes

WWE Survivor Series 2011 has revolved around one matchup. John Cena and The Rock taking Awesome Truth in what will be Dwayne Johnson’s first wrestling match in seven years! Normally, the thought of Dwayne lacing up the boots for one more match would delight any pro wrestling fan. However, I’ve found the build for this big four pay per view to be lackluster and foolishly booked to a point where the WWE acted out of lack of knowledge while compensating fans with predictable programming.

Because of this, I feel it’s only right for me to provide readers with an alternative. My plan isn’t intricate whatsoever; I will discuss each matchup while creating the finishes that will play a necessary role in future storylines.

Enjoy

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton:

I expect great things from the competitors in this match with Team Orton prevailing. However, if I was deciding the finish, Team Barrett would triumph over Team Orton as the winners. You see, the WWE has done exceptionally well in reestablish Wade Barrett over the course of several weeks. The Englishman has compiled an exquisite set of wins over the likes of Sheamus and Randy Orton. If the WWE has a long term plan for Barrett, his team should pick up the win here. With the likes of Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger sharing the spotlight at Survivor Series, it would be reasonable to have them go over as it’ll be great for their future.

My Finish: Sheamus would be counted out or disqualified after pinning Rhodes. This would leave Barrett and Orton to decide a winner. Obviously, Randy would need to save face as the chance of him putting over Barrett cleanly is slim to none. Barrett would utilize a dirty tactic (interference, low blow etc.) and finish Orton with the Wasteland.

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve:

I must say, the WWE hasn’t given me a reason to care for their Divas Division, thus explaining why I’ll keep this rather short. A stipulation was recently added to this match with Phoenix defending her Divas Championship in a LumberJill’s matchup. I feel as if both competitors will put on an exquisite match, echoing their performance at Vengeance but Phoenix will/should retain regardless. The primary reason for Phoenix’s retention is the impending feud between Phoenix and Natalya.

My Finish: Beth doesn’t need dirty tactics to defeat Eve Torres but I would have the babyface Divas interfere on Eve’s behalf when Phoenix is tossed outside of the squared circle. However, Beth will overcome this and retain the Glam Slam.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison:

This match will be the entertaining confrontation on this card. The problem is, the Internet (and the live audience too) will be too focused on Zack Ryder instead of enjoying the potential match of the year candidate. Yes, Ryder was able to persuade thousands to sign his petition for a U.S. Title match. However, Ryder has already partaken in two U.S. Championship matches with Ziggler and failed to capture the coveted championship. On the other hand, Morrison’s placement in this match was to thrust the support for Ryder to new levels. I don’t understand why Ryder’s fans fail to realize this but I believe Ryder will become Champion soon. Anyway, John Morrison has regained his “mojo” and intends of winning his first United States Championship this Sunday. The Shaman of Sexy picked up his first win in three months after defeating the Champion with a surprise crucifix. Because of the increased coverage of Morrison, his title match Sunday, and win over Ziggler last week, I believe Mr. Parkour is here to stay. This Sunday, John Morrison wins the United States Championship. The subsequent feud with Ryder will determine if Zack will be Santino Marella 2.0 or a potential main eventer. On the other hand, Dolph Ziggler will finally ascend to the top card.

Everybody wins

My Finish: I can’t decide on a solid finish to this matchup but I expect Ryder to be at ringside or involved nonetheless. It can go the simply route with Morrison defeating Ziggler with the Starship Pain or Morrison using a dirty tactic as a face (see Edge vs. Randy Orton RAW 2004 Intercontinental Championship) while disposing of Ryder after his win.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show:

The battle for the World Heavyweight Championship has certainly been a noteworthy one. I must say, these two put on one of the best big man matches I’ve watched in quite some time. However, I have a problem with the WWE using Daniel Bryan to progress the feud between these two. Anyway, I do feel as if these guys will put on another great match with Mark Henry retaining his World Championship.

My Finish: Mark Henry defeats Big Show clean.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk:

This feud has been repetitive and unbearable. It’s absolutely one sided and I quietly wait for the day it finally ends. As entertaining as CM Punk is, even he cannot make Alberto Del Rio slightly interesting. On the other hand, how many times has this match been given away on RAW? If I’m not mistaken, these two have already faced off on three occasions (on RAW). Anyway, I expect Alberto Del Rio to retain his WWE Championship but my booking plan differs.

My Finish: CM Punk defeats Del Rio cleanly for the WWE Championship. Therefore these two can face off at TLC and end this feud immediately.

The Miz and R-Truth vs. John Cena and The Rock:

Referencing what I stated above, this pay per view revolves around this match. Excuse me; this pay per view revolves around The Rock. The build for this pay per view has saw the other three competitors take on each other in handicap and tag team matches while the other guy sends his condolences via satellite. The matches have been lackluster while Awesome Truth have been dominated or needed to cheat to defeat Cena. So I ask the question, why is the Rock needed when Cena can beat them on his own? Anyway, Cena and Rock will display some friction throughout the matchup but they’ll pick up the win regardless.

My finish: The Rock and Cena will win clean but one has to attack the other after the match concludes. I still don’t think the WWE has the testicular fortitude to turn Cena heel but I would have him drop Rock with an Attitude Adjustment. However, Cena would not show any happy facial expressions like the last time he gave Dwayne an Attitude Adjustment. Cena will display some anger while quietly leaving Rock unconscious in the ring while giving the crowd a blank stare as he exits.

By doing this, it will create buzz about a possible heel turn thus causing fans to watch RAW the next night.

Cliffhanger

(The U.S. Title may change this weekend/tonight. If it does, I predict Ryder to finally win the U.S. Championship)

WWE RAW Review 10/24/11: An Electrifying Show

Hello Revolutionaries, welcome to my RAW review and I must say, I enjoyed tonights RAW as the last two were absolutely nauseating. Initially, I expected a poor show considering WWE’s track record of dropping the ball when it comes to the RAW that follows a pay per view. Nonetheless, RAW was definitely pre planned and it was obvious considering the overall quality of the show.

Unsurprisingly, Triple H opens the show and apparently, he’s here to discuss Kevin Nash and his shocking attack last night (that was sarcasm). He discusses having his heart broken and subliminally mentions the Kliq while shockingly leaving out Scott Hall. I wonder why he didn’t mention Kevin Nash almost breaking his collarbone with that botched Jackknife last night.

Triple H’s tirade continues with him wanting to kick Nash’s ass until Laurinaitis interrupts. Why hasn’t this guy bought himself some cough drops or layoff the cigarettes already? It’s obviously destroying his voice.

Triple H threatens Ace and wants him to retire Nash or else. Hunter tries to leave but Nash shockingly (sarcasm) attacks Trips with a sledgehammer. Wow! A Triple H segment that didn’t last longer than 20 minutes!

Not

Apparently, a sledgehammer shot to the back cause’s seizures. As Triple H is being carted onto an ambulance, Kevin Cash returns and administers a sledgehammer shot the face of a unconscious Triple H. It’s funny that Triple H was basically kissing the ground considering he has made a career out of doing it to others.

Burial

After a string or replays, the first match commences in Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes and Christian. I’m going to pretend like Rhodes/Christian ever had a chance in this matchup but it was still solid nonetheless. I admire Sheamus for improvising the finish as it was apparent that he was supposed to connect with the Brogue Kick but a botch saw Sheamus utilize the Celtic cross instead.

Honestly, I’m surprised Rhodes was the one that got pinned. Considering Vince’s indifference towards Christian and his track record as of late, you’d think Christian would be the one to fall victim to Sheamus again.

Afterwards, Laurinaitis is apparently arguing with Stephanie McMahon over the events that transpired earlier in the evening. Otunga still can’t seem to get over his obsession of shopping at Sears and sipping on imitation coffee. Cena storms in and is actually very entertaining here.

I love the fact that he mentioned Ace’s skateboard days.

Unsurprisingly, Cena wants Awesome Truth and Laurinaitis will choose his partner.

After a commercial break, Santino is in the ring for a squash but I was utterly surprised when Ziggler’s theme music hit. The match was better than I expected but I find it strange that Ziggler needed an assist from Swagger to beat a comedic jobber like Santino Marella.  ZigSwag attacks Marella after the matchup until Mason “Batista” Ryan makes the save. Are you guys surprised? I told you, Vince McMahon’s bodybuilder fetish always prevails over pushing someone who is bringing in money like Zack Ryder.

The Bella’s and Zack Ryder are backstage as Ryder announces he’s Cena’s partner against Awesome Truth in the main event? Zack Ryder is in the RAW main event? You can’t be serious bro!

Alberto Del Rio is out next for his victory speech after his win over Cena at Vengeance. Unsurprisingly, the crowd doesn’t care about Alberto. Del Rio cuts his normal promo, proclaiming that he’s the best and unbeatable. You know you can’t call yourself the best without CM Punk taking exception to it.

The Voice of the Voiceless reminds Alberto that he has beaten him on a number of occasions while he has yet to receive his one on one rematch for the WWE Championship. Punk requests a rematch and Del Rio unsurprisingly turns the offer down. However, Punk threatens to put Rio to sleep with brings about the addition of Johnny Ace.

Laurinaitis proposes Punk/Del Rio for Survivor Series only if Punk says that he respects him. Punk cracks a number of jokes before Laurinaitis offers Punk one more chance. Punk unleashes his serious side and states that Funkman has done so little and gained so much. Laurinaitis doesn’t think Punk’s words are good enough and states that he’ll take another week to contemplate granting Punk a shot.

Punk attacks Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez attempting to make the save. Punk drops Ricardo with a GTS as stares a departing Alberto Del Rio.

Anyway, we have Natalya vs. Alicia Fox with the most noteworthy portion of this entire segment being the awful new theme of Alicia Fox. It’s almost as bad as that new theme Eve debuted at Vengeance. To be honest, I looked away for a few seconds and it was over. Fortunately for me, I caught the replay and I was surprised to see Alicia picking up the win after a rollup.

Whatevs

I’m actually surprised to see Morrison come out as he mentioned his Out of Your Mind fitness DVD on Twitter earlier today. Nonetheless, it’s always delightful to see the Prince of Parkour in action but I was shocked when his opponent was revealed. Wade Barrett is apparently being pushed again and Morrison is going to be his next victim (after Daniel Bryan of course).

The match started off pretty good with some nice back and forth action that spilled to the arena floor. Barrett throws Morrison into the fan barrier as we cut to a commercial break.

Honestly, it’s shocking that a Morrison match made it to a commercial break.

After the commercial break, the two had a pretty good matchup with Morrison finally looking decent after the series of squashes he has been victim of. However, Barrett picks up the win with the Wasteland. Barrett botched his first attempt by not being able to catch Morrison.

It was difficult to improvise as fans already caught on to the slip.

Cole and Lawler are discussing what happened to Triple H until Cole spontaneously discusses/bashes Jim Ross in front of the live audience. Cole shows a number of photo shopped pictures of Jim Ross before his issues a challenge to the Hall of Famer. Cole states that if JR beat him on next week’s RAW, he would quit his announcing position and JR can have his place back.

Zack Ryder is discussing the RAW main event with Josh Matthews before Awesome Truth attacks him.  You didn’t think Vince McMahon would allow Ryder to main event RAW did you? After the attack, Awesome Truth cuts a promo stating that no one is safe as they mock Triple H’s misfortune and inform Cena that he can’t rise above them.

Laurinaitis announces a handicap match as Ryder is unable to compete. This was a typical Cena match except for Awesome Truth displaying their cleverness by continually tagging out. As Cena was closing in on a victory, R-Truth reintroduces his water bottle to Cena’s cranium which gives Cena a win by DQ.

Awesome Truth continues the attack on Cena before Laurinaitis has it broken up by security. The Executive VP of talent relations announces a tag team match for Survivor Series that will feature Awesome Truth taking on Cena and a partner of his choice. Cena unsurprisingly chooses Rock as his partner.

Overall thoughts:

This was a pretty good RAW but I felt the Triple H/Nash fiasco should’ve been cut short and we didn’t need a million replays over the course of the episode. I’m questioning WWE’s decision to keep Air Boom off of television for two weeks in a row. I also find it strange that Ziggler took on Marella and the fact that he needed an assist by Swagger to defeat him.

What quality does Mason Ryan possess (besides looking like Batista) that makes him a worthy contender for the U.S. Championship.

Yes, I know I answered my own question there.

Why Kevin Nash still on my television screen? He sucks and doesn’t give a crap about anything but the numbers on his next paycheck.  Why has Natalya become the Christian of the Divas Division as she is basically the Diva to put over the ones on their way up?

Will Sheamus and Orton ever lose a match cleanly again?

Why is the Cena hater at almost every WWE event?

Will John Morrison ever win another WWE match?

Haven’t we had enough of Michael Cole’s shenanigans? However, if it means I only have to listen to his nauseating commentary on SmackDown, I’m all for this matchup.

Will Vince McMahon get Mason Ryan’s underwear out of his teeth long enough to take Ryder seriously?

How long will Triple H be out of action?

Why did the WWE test our intelligence tonight? They announced that Rock and Cena would be teaming up at Survivor Series a few weeks ago. It’s not like we’ll forget something as big as that.

And apparently, RAW is still all about The Game.

WWE’s John Morrison: My Favorite Morrison Matches/Moments

Hello Revolutionaries and JoMoSapiens, welcome to my first of many planned video tributes to my favorite WWE Superstars. And who better to start this series on a high note with than WWE’s most exciting superstar in John Morrison. I’ve been a fan of Mr. Morrison’s work since his debut on ECW in 2007 against Nunzio.

The Shaman of Sexy has gone through a number of character alterations/evolutions since his transformation in 2007 after winning the ECW Championship and has been able to maintain yours truly as a fan through the highs and the (current) lows. Morrison has been a hot topic of the IWC as of late as most of the pro wrestling dirt sheets state that Morrison is leaving the WWE soon.

While I can’t justify these statements as factual, his booking as of late does suggest that Morrison is indeed on his way out of the company.

In a time of curiosity and confusion, I feel that it’s best to allow the nostalgia to overtake a fan. Simply put, it’s normal to reminisce in a time of despair.

So I prepared this article while compiling a number of Morrison moments that I enjoyed the most.

Well, enough of my small talk, here’s my favorite John Morrison moments.

(Be sure to utilize the hash tag, SaveJohnMorrison, if you are a fan and want to be a part of the movement)

Starting this article off with a bang, I decided to feature the above video for comic relief. While I was watching this, I noticed how different Morrison was back then. Of course, Morrison portrayed an arrogant, cocky, conceited heel and wrote most of his promos/sketches. Anyway, Morrison and Miz directed this video at Cryme Tyme. The two tag teams were feuding at the time and the DirtSheet Duo decided to imitate the lifestyle/mannerisms of Cryme Tyme for this hilarious rap video.

Enjoy

From a comical video to a serious one with John Morrison vs. Evan Bourne on ECW one night after the 2009 WWE Draft. Morrison and The Miz had split and fans wondered if Morrison could make it on his own. However, most fans always thought Morrison was the better half of the tag team.

Well for those watching, Morrison and Bourne didn’t disappoint as this is arguably the best match of both competitors careers.

I like to use this video for those critics who claim Morrison is a spot monkey and jumps around throughout the duration of his matches. To be honest, I wish he would use this style today.

Here’s part one but you can watch part two and three here.

This video is another hilarious one. While I can’t remember exactly when this happened, I do remember watching this on ECW sometime in 2008. Tommy Dreamer was still in his quest to become ECW champion once again but like Miz and Morrison were infamous for, they taunted Dreamer while being absolutely hilarious at the same time.

Technically, Morrison hadn’t become Morrison yet. He was still Johnny Nitro and I still hated his guts. However, I loved ECW and I wasn’t going to watch just because I dislike a certain WWE Superstar. Morrison went out and dominated this matchup while displaying a ton of flashy and impactful offense. I loved this match and Morrison cemented it for me when he hit the corkscrew neckbreaker.

This is when I became interested in Morrison’s future but I wasn’t a fan yet.

John Morrison vs. Sheamus at TLC 2010 was my favorite match of 2010. To be honest, it was the biggest mark out moment for me in a LONG time. Morrison was being pushed and the WWE set him up with former WWE Champion, Sheamus. The two traded wins at Survivor Series and the KOTR with this faceoff being the rubber match.

Thing is, I knew Morrison was going to win this match as The Miz was the WWE Champion. The WWE is against heel vs. heel and there’s no way they were going to allow it at the Royal Rumble. Anyway, besides HBK vs. Taker and Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan, this was the best match of 2010 and truly one that I’ll never forget.

This is part two, watch part one here.

This matchup was absolutely awesome and even the biggest Morrison hater will have to admit it. Rey Mysterio and John Morrison really put on a show here tonight and I thought Morrison was on his way.  This match had it all. From a nice pace to mat wrestling to the unique high flying style of both competitors, this matchup was absolutely awesome.

I didn’t utilize dirthsheet’s and read spoilers at this point so it was a nice surprise to see Morrison win this matchup.  And I can tell that I wasn’t the only one that enjoyed it as Morrison got a standing ovation after it was over.

This video has three other parts that you can watch here.

Man, I absolutely loved this. I don’t care what anyone says, this match is probably one of the most underrated in SmackDown history. Not only was the match great, it showed that Morrison CAN work the mic as a face if given some creative input on the things he says. This is also another matchup I’ll never forget because I love these guys.

Both are on my all time favorite WWE Superstars list while Edge sits in my number one spot.

This wasn’t actually a match but it was a spot. I don’t care what anybody says, this was awesome and it temporarily brightened up a Royal Rumble that was kind of boring when it happened. Thing is, my peers weren’t discussing the winner of this Rumble, Alberto Del Rio, they were actually discussing Morrison’s awesome stunt here.

The first live dirtsheet on SmackDown was probably the most memorable one as Morrison and Miz discussed their impending matchup at Bragging Rights 2009. This was the first time we actually got to see these two speak out on the other and discuss the who’s Shawn Michaels and who’s Marty Jannetty scenario.  While Miz has always been pretty good on the mic, Morrison has been criticized for his subpar promos.

I can’t speak for others but I enjoyed this as Morrison showed some intensity and emotion during this segment. Now if the WWE would allow him to do this on a regular basis and stop handing their talents scripts promos like Austin says, maybe they would be better on the mic.

Anyway, I spent most of this segment laughing my ass off because both of these guys are genuinely funny.

Another classic bout featuring John Morrison but this one would be against the Straight Edge Superstar, CM Punk. You see, CM Punk had been my favorite superstar since 2006 and I adopted Morrison as another favorite of mine in the weeks before this matchup. Morrison had defeated Punk three times and this was Punk’s last chance to grasp the ECW Championship.

To be honest, it didn’t matter who would win as I knew I was in for a classic matchup. These two went out and had one hell of a matchup with Morrison displaying some of the unique offensive I’ve ever seen. I still remember watching this with my siblings back in 2007 and downloading Punk’s theme song the next day.

Be sure to check out part two here.

Yes, another mark out moment for yours truly as I was starting to get bored with RAW and the way they were booking the CM Punk angle. Originally, Morrison was scheduled to return a few weeks later. Not only did I mark out for Morrison’s return but I anticipated a great feud with R-Truth down the line. Unfortunately, WWE dropped the ball with this like everything else they do nowadays but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this.

You’re probably wondering why I included this video but it’s simple actually. I think Funk Man absolutely, undoubtedly, unquestionably, one hundred percent completely sucks. I’ve wanted to say it since the first time Johnny Ace picked up a microphone. The fact that Morrison was the one to say it is just a bonus.

I included this video because it got me excited for what I predicted would be a pretty good and reasonable face turn. Today, I don’t have the same opinion as I prefer a heel Morrison but the event was still significant. Punk’s run in was absolutely hilarious.

Come on, everyone who was sitting at home watching this was like “What the hell is Morrison doing” and by the time it was over, you probably thought “Damn, that was awesome”.

I was.

Finally, we’re at the moment I officially became a John Morrison mark. The very same moment that Johnny Nitro became John Morrison was the moment he solidified his status as one of my all time favorite superstars. His gimmick was absolutely awesome and possessed every aspect a fan like me admires. The Rockstar gimmick, flashy wrestling style, unique attire, and conceited personality just clicked with me.

Of course, I still loved CM Punk but this guy was just something else.

Take a moment and admire this greatness.

Thanks for bearing my full fledged markism throughout this article and I hope you enjoyed. This was just the first in a long line of names from Edge, CM Punk, AJ Styles, and Shawn Michaels that I’ll do these series on.

With that being said, I’ll leave you with one last Morrison video.

WWE RAW Review/Rant: Worst Show Ever? 10/10/11

This isn’t just a RAW review. This is also a RAW rant because of the poor quality of last night’s show. To be honest, I’ve been watching World Wrestling Entertainment since 2001 and I must say, this is the worst RAW I’ve ever watched. Sure, I may be coming off as irrational here but there’s no denying that this RAW absolutely, positively, undoubtedly, unquestionably, SUCKED.

The show unsurprisingly kicked off with a Triple H promo. I have no complaints here as Triple H had to address the live audience and the protest. It wasn’t surprising to see Triple H sticking to his guns and refusing to quite as John Cena sticking with the boss. Sheamus and CM Punk pledged their allegiance to Triple H while the COO got the program rolling with Cena vs. Sheamus with himself acting as the referee.

The most positive thing to come out of this was CM Punk’s commentary.

Before I could enjoy RAW, Mr. McMahon made his return and relieved Triple H of his duties. Yes, Triple H is still the COO but no longer controls RAW. Vince announced that Johnny Ace is the interim General Manager until they could find someone to fit the role.

When McMahon announced that Laurinaitis was the GM, I knew the program and overall quality of RAW was going to rapidly deteriorate.

Johnny Ace is the worst character ever. He is an absolute snore and causes spontaneous nausea whenever he’s on my television. Sure, he can randomly show up and make matches but so can Teddy Long who has a passion for this business and is actually entertaining.

Backstage, Johnny Ace is greeting talent backstage when John Morrison voices his disapproval of Funkman’s promotion to General Manager. JoMo tells Laurinaitis he sucks with Funkman informing Morrison that he has a match. After Morrison leaves, Christian begins kissing Ace’s ass by telling him he should be the permanent GM instead of interim.

Laurinaitis approves of Christian’s comments and informs him that he has a match with John Morrison.

The Christian/JoMo match lasted three minutes and it absolutely sucked. Considering the fact that JoMo and Christian are great workers, this match should’ve been given more time. It sickens me to see what they’ve done with Christian.

Remember when all of those retired WWE Superstars said Christian losing the title in two days was a part of a bigger storyline?

Yes, it was the storyline that saw Christian get buried by Randy Orton in every encounter.

Anyway, Morrison loses the match after Christian’s coalition distracts him long enough for Christian to spear Morrison.  Morrison loses again, assuring every JoMoSapien out there that Morrison is leaving the WWE soon.

The Christian Coalition destroys Morrison, with each utilizing their finisher on the Prince of Parkour.

I’ve said it before, if you’re going to do to this guy, you might as well release him.

He’s just too talented for this crap.

Ace announces Henry vs. Orton when Triple H enters. A short segment with Triple H asking Ace is he ever picked up his teeth with broken fingers.

Mark Henry cuts the same promo he has since winning the championship. A prerecorded message from Orton plays claiming he will have vengeance against Henry.

Next up, we get Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry again. It was a solid match with Orton winning by disqualification after Cody Rhodes attacks him. Henry and Rhodes decimate Orton after the match with Cody bagging Orton at the conclusion. Rhodes vs. Orton would be a great feud if Orton is willing to put Rhodes over.

My problem is, why did Cody attempt the maniacal laugh?

It failed horribly.

Kelly Kelly and Eve beat Tamina and Rosa Mendes in a tag team matchup that Kelly spent the majority of screaming.

Laurinaitis announces John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio at Vengeance for the WWE Championship. I must say, why won’t the WWE take John Cena out of the WWE Title picture? Everything he has done from the moment they announced Cena/Rock to now has been filler and will continue to be until WrestleMania 28.

We just had this match at Night of Champions with Cena easily defeating Del Rio and stripping him of the little relevance he had.

If this wasn’t bad enough, Laurinaitis embarrasses Jim Ross by firing him in his hometown. I find this absolutely ridiculous but not surprising seeing as how the WWE loves to crap on their employees in front of their hometowns.

To be honest, I’d rather listen to a taped recording of Jim Ross than any of those guys on commentary.

RAW suddenly becomes green with Air Boom and Mason Ryan vs. Swiggler and David Otunga. To quote the internet champion, “are you serious bro?”

Mason Ryan pins Dolph Ziggler and is apparently taking the U.S. Title push most IWC members thought belonged to Ryder. The match itself was decent but the most noteworthy portion of it was Evan Bourne seemingly suffering an injury after Jack Swagger botched a power bomb.

There goes two pushes if Bourne suffered a significant injury here.

The WWE network and John Cena’s new movie is plugged.

To be honest, Cena’s movie is actually interesting.

Anyway, we get CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio for the third time on RAW. Typical Punk/Rio matchup Ace interrupting it and announcing the two would face the Awesome Truth.

Yeah, that’s surprising.

It was some decent back and forth actions with Del Rio unsurprisingly abandoning Punk.

Punk’s on the verge of victory until Awesome Truth get themselves disqualified and continue the attack on Punk after the match is over.

Before the duo could cause any significant damage, Triple H runs in and destroys Miz while Punk works over Truth. The two shake hands at the conclusion of RAW with Johnny Ace discussing Triple H and CM Punk vs. Awesome Truth with David Otunga.

Rant

I have never watched a RAW episode as horrible as the one that aired last night. I don’t understand why the WWE sees fit to ruin every interesting storyline they produce. They should’ve continued this “walkout” angle to Survivor Series at the very least. Aside from the first 25 minutes, everything was predictable and quite frankly, boring.

John Laurinaitis assuming the role as Interim GM is absolutely ridiculous. This guy is the worst mic worker I’ve ever watched in my entire life and has no personality whatsoever. He’s the most boring piece of crap to ever bless my television screen since Alberto Del Rio.

I find salvation in the fact that Ace is the interim General Manager and could very well lose the role in no time.

On the other hand, you have a plethora of main event worthy talent complaining about things they partake in on a weekly basis. Didn’t Christian’s coalition walkout because they felt unsafe? They felt that Awesome Truth was capable of attacking them at will.

Thing is, it makes WWE Creative look like morons and the superstars look like hypocrites.

I find it strange that a ton of SmackDown guys were complaining about their treatment on RAW.

Why is John Cena in another title match?

Why are CM Punk and Triple H teaming at Vengeance when they were at teach others throats a few weeks ago?

What happened to the anonymous RAW GM?

Why in the blue hell is Mason Ryan getting a U.S. Title shot instead of Zack Ryder? Obviously, its Vinnie Mac’s bodybuilder fetish making its presence felt again.

In the end, this RAW was bad. It was atrocious and I have a few final thoughts.

For one, I think Laurinaitis is the best thing to happen to RAW; Alberto Del Rio is the most charismatic WWE Champion of all time, I don’t think Vince McMahon has lost his mind, I totally see the appeal of Brodus Clay, Kelly Kelly and the Bella’s really are the best WWE Divas of all time, I think Justin Watry is the best writer on Bleacher Report, and I don’t think I’m the most realistic thing that has ever happened to Twitter, the YWC, the IWC, and especially the Bleacher Report Professional Wrestling Community.

#HEEL

WWE Hell in a Cell 2011 Review

Hello Revolutionaries, it’s time for my WWE Hell in a Cell 2011 review. First and foremost, I’d like to say that I actually partially enjoyed this pay per view. Yes, I have the tendency to write most WWE pay per views off as boring and predictable but my assumptions have been proven accurate on a number of occasions. Originally, I predicted this event to fail due to the short time the WWE had to build it up and the lack of compelling storylines.

Nonetheless, I was surprised by the overall match quality pay per view and felt it deserved an in depth review by yours truly.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that it was great with storyline progression.

So, let’s start the show!

Sheamus vs. Christian

First up, The Great White vs. Captain Charisma in what seems to be the culmination of a feud that has been brewing for some time now. The most noteworthy part of this matchup would be the appearance of the Awesome Truth. The exiled duo seemingly purchased front row tickets for the event only to be escorted out of the building by Johnny Ace and a barrage of security guards.

This was a decent matchup but I failed to get into it. It felt as if this match was a better fit on SmackDown. You have two great in ring workers in Christian and Sheamus and this match just wasn’t interesting at all. Unsurprisingly, Sheamus wins after the Brogue Kick to continue his ascension to the main event card.

MistiCara vs. HuniCara

What’s wrong with me? At first, this match looked pretty good but considering the fact that I was multitasking and looked away more times than one, my opinion was flawed at the time. I caught the replay and watched the match again and was absolutely horrified. For one, it was too slow considering the guys wrestle similar styles. The botches were too apparent in this match and the crowd was totally bored with it.

Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

Arguably the best match of the night along with the main event, Air Boom took on Vickie’s Clientele for the WWE Tag Team Championship. Dolph and Jack played the typical heel roles in this match while Air Boom displayed their improvement as a tag team by displaying some great in ring chemistry and some new tag team maneuvers. Dolph and Jack had some great chemistry here too but I still won’t forget that they were at each other’s throats two weeks ago.

Air Boom wins the match with a nice hurricana spot by Bourne and Swagger.

Orton attacks Henry with a chair at WWE Hell in a Cell

Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

I don’t have too much to say about this match but it was just as good as their last match. Considering the size and moveset of Mark Henry, this was a pretty good match that involved a few spots outside the match. It was weird that weapons were rarely used but that doesn’t matter considering Mark Henry took Orton’s best and retained his World Championship.

My problem is, why is Mark Henry running from Orton like a little girl? I mean, Mark Henry is supposed to be this unstoppable monster but he ran like a girl who just got her Barbie doll stolen by a bully.

Cody Rhodes vs. John Morrison

This was undoubtedly the moment of the night. I actually predicted a Rhodes promo only to have John Morrison interrupt and challenge for the Intercontinental Championship. Rhodes comes out and trashes the crowd for their hideousness before dropping his championship in a paper bag. Rhodes reintroduces the classic Intercontinental Championship worn by the likes of HBK, Austin, and Bret Hart.

Rhodes says he will be better than all of them and defend his title feverishly at any place and any time. As soon as Cody said this, Johnny Ace informed the demented superstar that he would defend his title right now. John Morrison makes his way to ring with a nice reaction from the live audience.

This was a mark out moment for me considering I was almost dead on with my prediction and my favorite superstar actually had a match. The match was decent with Morrison dominating Rhodes for the majority of it. It looked as if JoMo would win the Championship towards the end but Cody countered the Chuck kick with a roll up for the win.

I knew Rhodes would win and most fans look at this match as a job considering Rhodes was in his street clothes. I beg to differ as Morrison looked great in defeat and the thought of Morrison on SmackDown is certainly a delightful one. However, the loss doesn’t give Morrison fans any security on Morrison’s future with the company. I hope the WWE turns this into a fully fledged feud as both men are lacking any current direction.

PLEASE WWE! PLEASE!

There was a predictable backstage segment with Triple H questioning Johnny Ace’s decision to make matches with his approval. Chaos broke out when they were informed that Air Boom had been attacked by the Awesome Truth.

Typical stuff here

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

This match was pretty good for the Divas but it was a typical Phoenix/Kelly matchup. I have nothing to say but the right Diva won the Championship as a Kelly win wouldn’t have made any sense. Thing is, did Beth really need an assist by Nattie to defeat Kelly Kelly?

Of course not

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

This match was the best of the night but that’s not saying match considering the other matches didn’t have the same length. It got boring at a few points but it was obvious that the WWE was trying to get the “Captain Third Wheel” label off of Del Rio by having him dominate the majority of this match. It was clever of Del Rio to lock Cena out of the cage as he wins the WWE Championship after nailing Punk with a steel pipe.

After the match, Cena gets in the cell after it was being lifted and attacks Del Rio. Before Cena could do any significant damage, Awesome Truth attacks all three competitors as the cell is mysteriously lowered back down. Miz and Truth destroy Cena, Punk, and Del Rio while Triple H is livid on the outside. The entire WWE roster attempts to get inside the cell to no avail. Officers and security show up with a pair of bolt cutters as Truth and Miz immediately surrender to the officers. As they’re being carried out, Triple H attacks both but is restrained by security.

R-Truth and The Miz

Overall thoughts

Why did Del Rio lose the title two weeks ago if he was going to win it back tonight? The WWE is stripping the prestige of the WWE Championship with these short title reigns. To be honest, the WWE Championship is already a prop. Congratulations Cody Rhodes, you have the most prestigious championship in the WWE today. Sorry Dolph, you’re second place.

Like I stated above, Cody’s segment was the highlight of the night as John Morrison’s future remains in question. Didn’t Zack Ryder defeat the U.S. Champion two times in a row? Why didn’t he face Ziggler for the Championship tonight?

Beth Phoenix didn’t need to defeat Kelly dirty considering Kelly is a gymnast and she’s a professional wrestler. Mark Henry rightfully retains but shouldn’t have been portrayed a cowardly face by running from Randy Orton. Christian and Sheamus could’ve been better. Johnny Ace should be placed in a non speaking role. Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara was horrible and Mistico could use some time in the developmental territory.

The tag team matchup was good and the right guys retained.

The final segment was pretty good and is nostalgic for fans who love the Attitude Era. I’m actually looking forward to RAW and what Awesome Truth does next.

WWE Conspiracy 101: Examining WWE Superstars Plagued by the Conspiracy

In early 2011, regular WWE Jobber, R-Truth, underwent a drastic character alteration. The Truth turned his back on his best friend in John Morrison while claiming to be a victim of the WWE system. Dressed in Confederacy attire, R-Truth exposed what many considered ridiculous claims of a conspiracy against him and his pursuit of the WWE Championship.

As explicit as WWE conspiracies are currently, there are also a number of subliminal conspiracies occurring under the radar of the WWE Universe. Despite this, I am well aware of the numerous conspiracies and I intend on exposing their targets in this article.

Daniel Bryan: The current Mr. Money in the bank, Daniel Bryan, should be riding a huge wave of momentum fresh off his shocking win in SmackDown’s Money in the Bank ladder match. Initially, Bryan put together a small streak of victories before becoming embroiled in a feud with Wade Barrett.  The former Nexus cohorts were set to face off at SummerSlam 2011. At the event, Wade Barrett defeated Bryan with the Wasteland. This loss would also upstart the downfall of Daniel Bryan.

The American Dragon has lost every noteworthy match he has been in since SummerSlam. As of late, Bryan has been used as a stepping stone for the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara feud. Considering his status as Mr. MITB, you’d think Bryan would be booked better than he is. After his latest loss to Sin Cara (Original and Fake), Bryan cut a promo for WWE.com stating that he felt he was cheated. Bryan believes the switch from SmackDown may’ve been planned and things haven’t been going how they’re suppose to since he won the blue briefcase.

It seems as if Bryan is finally realizing the conspiracy against him and his plans to become World Champion at WrestleMania 28.

While Bryan is a victim of the conspiracy, he still has the MITB briefcase. The following Superstar has been to subject to similar treatment but can be defined as worse considering who he is.

John Morrison: The Monday Night Delight hasn’t been so delightful since his return to RAW a few months back. JoMo has undeniably accumulated a number of losses. Simply put, Morrison has won one singles match since his return while partaking in tag team matches with guys like Alex Riley, Kofi Kingston, and Rey Mysterio for victories. Perhaps the most noteworthy and conspiracy supporting loss would be to Alberto Del Rio in a 47 second squash match.

All signs point to Morrison being buried or conspired against by WWE Management/Vince McMahon. It’s no secret that McMahon isn’t too fond of Morrison because of his refusal to initiate physicality with Batista over Melina. Maybe Vince McMahon is conspiring against Morrison because of it.

You never know!

Awesome Truth: The Miz and R-Truth are arguably the most prominent victims of the conspiracy (besides the superstar I will discuss next). While the gripes may’ve been outrageous at first, it seems as if there has been some legitimacy to these claims as of late. For example, Awesome Truth was victims of bad refereeing by WWE appointed officials. During a matchup for the tag team championship against Air Boom, Kofi and Bourne utilized underhanded tactics while the referees were “distracted”. Despite this, Miz was able to handle his own and administer the Skull Crushing Finale on Evan Bourne. Once again, the official was too “busy” with R-Truth to make the count. This infuriated The Miz as he physically assaulted the referee. Instead of explaining the repercussions of his actions to his partner, Truth partook in the assault on the ref as both fled the ring shortly afterwards.

After attacking the COO, Triple H and another referee during the main event, the Awesome Truth understood their actions could mean termination and sincerely apologized to Triple H the next night on RAW. Despite the COO seemingly forgiving the duo and fining them $250,000, Triple H fired them after a loss to John Cena and CM Punk.

The Awesome Truth has exposed the conspiracy as it continues to plague the mentally and professionally. What if the referee was actually in on the conspiracy? What if someone working behind the scenes doesn’t want Truth and Miz as Champions? What if someone intends on holding the duo back?

From the looks of things, it’s hard to deny the conspiracy against the Awesome Truth.

CM Punk: The Voice of the Voiceless has been conspired against since he announced his plans to take the WWE Championship at WWE Money in the Bank and leave. While the actions of Vince McMahon at MITB inexplicitly displayed the conspiracy against Punk and his plan to win the WWE Championship, it seemed as if the conspiracy against Punk ended after McMahon’s removal from the WWE. However, CM Punk found himself in the middle of a full blown conspiracy at the conclusion of SummerSlam 2011.

After defeating John Cena in a matchup for the Undisputed WWE Championship, CM Punk was attacked by Kevin Nash. Big Daddy Cool destroyed Punk with a Jackknife powerbomb. After Nash’s attack on Punk was over, Mr. Money in the Bank, Alberto Del Rio, cashed in on the 2nd City Saint to win his first WWE Championship.

The circumstances surrounding Nash and what motivated him to attack Punk were unclear. The constant bashing of Triple H and his wife by CM Punk pointed to Triple H’s (or Stephanie’s) involvement with Kevin Nash. Nash later revealed that he received a text that said attack the winner of the WWE Championship bout featuring Punk and Cena. While Nash alluded to the perpetrator, Punk was convinced that Triple H was the guilty party.

After numerous weeks of attacks, bickering, and confusion between the three, Triple H granted Punk at match with Nash at WWE Night of Champions. However, Triple H removed Nash from the matchup while inserting himself in it to exact revenge for Punk’s derogatory comments. Triple H’s actions angered Kevin Nash, who was later fired for physically assaulting and goading Triple H into assaulting him.

Before he terminated Nash, Triple H revealed that it was Nash who sent himself the infamous text message. Despite this development, Punk didn’t believe Triple H’s story and felt as if Nash and Hunter were still conspiring against him.

At this point, the involvement of John “Funk Man” Laurinaitis also came into question as he was the one who originally hired Nash and worked with him closely afterwards.

Triple H and CM Punk continued their weekly verbal destruction of the other with Punk convincing Triple H to resign as COO if he was to lose at Night of Champions.

At Night of Champions, Punk’s match with Triple H was compromised by Awesome Truth, Laurinaitis, and Kevin Nash before Punk and Triple H were able to fight off the adversaries.

However, Triple H defeated Punk after a Pedigree and retained his position as the COO.

Despite this, the conspiracy is apparently still active. The actions of John Laurinaitis are becoming more and more questionable with each passing week as Punk has apparently let his guard down when it comes to Triple H. We should get more answers through tonight’s edition of Monday Night RAW.

Could Vince McMahon be tied into the conspiracy? Maybe things aren’t what they seem?

Who knows!

One thing’s for sure and that’s the conspiracy in the WWE.

And I intend on exposing it and the perpetrators through the Conspiracy 101 Series.

WWE’s Trip to the Dark Side: Heel Turns and There Subsequent Success in the WWE

As we venture deeper into WWE’s PG Era, it’s almost normal to reminisce on the things of the past.

From the X-rated angles to the glorified blood baths collectively known as Hell in a Cell, Hardcore and First Blood matches, it’s extremely unbearable to watch the kid-friendly antics of the WWE. In the past, we’ve seen a contrast in lifestyles, real life scandals and infamous screw overs that will forever remain a prominent portion of our numerous WWE memories.

It seems as if the WWE has exiled anything with the slightest amount of edge.

Once in a blue moon, the WWE answers our prayers with the single thing that lacks the PG known the WWE has become accustom to.

A heel turn.

From spontaneous beat downs to a recurring build, heel turns are arguably the most anticipated angles in professional wrestling today.

For a turn to be successful it must possess numerous things. As I stated above, attacking a top babyface is basically a detour to a vast amount of heat. The Superstar must be able to cut a promo decent enough to draw boo’s from the crowd. Another reasonable addition is the angles that preceded the turn.

Simply, WWE Writers should provide a substantial purpose behind the turn.

When examining the current WWE roster, two heel turns have left an everlasting mark on the WWE Universe.

R-Truth and Christian have certainly raised their stocks through their respective character alterations. The primary reason both have succeeded rest solely on the angles and WWE Creative. R-Truth’s heel turn came seemingly out of nowhere. He was a dancing, jobbing, stereotype one moment and the No. 1 contender the next.

R-Truth’s special case of dementia is certainly entertaining.

On the other hand, Christian’s turn wasn’t as surprising. It’s no secret that Captain Charisma is one of the most beloved Superstar’s in WWE history. When he won the World Champion, we prayed for at least a month with the Championship.

The WWE halted Christian’s train before it began rolling.

Two days after Extreme Rules, the World Championship was handed to Randy Ortonon a silver platter. The hostile response of the IWC immediately gave away the fact that one of the two were set for a turn in the coming weeks.

Christian’s numerous shortcomings ultimately decided this as Captain Charisma turned heel last week.

The difference is we despised Truth before his turn and praise him immensely today. Christian will always be the IWC’s love child no matter the role he portrays.

Despite our mixed emotions towards both, it’s obvious that both Superstars have become the top heels of their respective brands.

This leads me to believe that is a heel turn the key to success in the WWE?

Let’s use the WWE Champion as an example.

John Cena has been the subject to a vast amount of criticism since he became Super Cena. It’s a recurring trend to observe John Cena snatching victory out of the jaws of defeat. While it’s obvious that John Cena is better as a face from a business standpoint, his character has become predictable as a face.

Instead of captivating a crowd like I know he can, John Cena’s promo from RAW displayed qualities that a sermon by a motivation speaker should possess.

His SmackDown counterpart, Randy Orton, is in the same boat as Cena. Orton’s character and gimmick fits a wrestler displaying a heel persona. When he turned face, most praised him as the Anti Cena. The problem with that notion is the fact that Orton’s history and lack of charisma plays against it.

He’s predictable.

While it’s obvious that heel turns by these two may be impossible, there’s still hope for a number of deserving mid-carders.

For some, a heel turn is the one thing required for their ascension to the top of the WWE.

John Morrison is a perfect example of how much a possible turn could benefit. If the Shaman of Sexy were to turn heel, he would eliminate the one thing delaying his ascension to the main event level. A perfect notion to this would be his time on ECW as Champion or the two years with The Miz.

This heel turn is past due.

While Morrison is one in need, another Superstar was granted a heel turn years ago. This man took the ball and ran with it as he became a multiple time World Champion.

This man is the Rated R Superstar, Edge.

Edge was a decent face before 2004 but the subsequent turn a feud with Matt Hardy made Edge one of the most despised Superstars in WWE History.

Other Veterans turn heel in the final stages of their careers while improving tremendously. Dave Batista was one of the WWE’s biggest Superstars since his face turn in 2005. For months, the WWE groomed Batista and John Cena as their biggest Superstars.

Either Superstar could’ve taken the position as the face of the WWE. An injury to Batista ultimately decided who the man was in the WWE. For years, wrestling diehards complained about Batista’s promo ability and the predictable antics of his character.

In 2009, WWE Creative turned Batista heel.

Batista cut the best promos of his career, but the turn was cut short by his exit from the WWE. The same can be said for CM Punk. The Straight Edge Superstar was an above average face until his heel turn in 2009.

The contrast in lifestyles between Punk and Jeff Hardy created the best feud of the PG Era.

Today, Punk is arguably the all-around best superstar.

While Edge, Batista, and CM Punk are positive statistics, guys like Kofi Kingston, Daniel Bryan or Evan Bourne would provide a vast amount of intention due to a heel turn.

In the end, it’s hard to argue against the fact that heel turns have led to the success of numerous Superstars.

Take a short moment to imagine if someone like an Evan Bourne or a Kofi Kingston were to turn heel?

Interesting isn’t it?

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